ragon
THE
P RTAL
May 2018
Page 5
Snapdragon celebrates Spring
I’ve measured it from side to side
‘Tis three foot long and two foot wide
S
pring is such an uplifting time of the year that one can’t help feeling grateful. Easter
egg hunts, ticket inspectors, budget airlines all take on a roseate hue that speaks generally
of the Resurrection. It really is a time for pulling oneself together and whistling loudly and
untunefully as one sets about improving the world.
My neighbour (as in two villages
away but grand daughters ride out
together clubbing when the time
is right) was moaning about the
Rector’s sermon at Easter sufficiently
persistently to induce a spasm of helpfulness and
the suggestion that she could begin by offering a
little hospitality. Well, what a party we had. A Coptic
Bishop, charming but filthy dirty, some spivs from the
city, equally charming but rather cleaner, a German
monk from Glenstall who appeared to be wired to
the moon, and the usual suspects from round and
about. Among the many good things to come out of
this was the Rector’s attempt to resuscitate the bishop
who had been undone by an eightsome reel and french
cricket played up and down the staircases, in which
an excitable monk took a prominent part egged on
by the wife of one of our local MPs. The windows,
despite their age, weathered the storm well and, all in
all, a splendid example of why parties are such a good
thing. No wonder Our Lord was at them whenever the
opportunity arose.
badger after a very unpleasant chat with a passing
vet. Apparently these disease-ridden animals, though
full of tuberculosis, are entirely protected and there
is an enormous risk that the RSPCA will prosecute
me for incitement to kill, or that I will be had up for
encouraging people to stop on roads and pick up
carcasses. This is so appalling that I begin to see why
perfectly respectable people sell up and retire to the
south of France to gorge themselves to death on pate
de fois gras and other pleasing emanations of the over-
fed goose.
Th