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THE P
Snapdragon
RTAL
December 2016 Page 5
Jumping into a hole and keeping digging !
It was a very good dinner party , not least because the food sprang continual surprises .
Not , of course , up to Geoffrey Kirk standards , but pretty good . We had started off with pâté de foie gras and there is always a certain pleasure in being compelled , by social convention , to eat what is politically incorrect .
The dress of some the women present also sprang some surprises . My mind had wandered … as minds do … to Pope Francis and his enthusiasm for the ‘ God of Surprises ’. My train of thought then led me on to a recollection of a rather dim master at the school I had attended , who would waspishly snarl at us “ Go on , surprise me ”. There was that wonderful morning when Zeffirelli minor had modified the structure of the master ’ s chair in such a way that , the moment he sat down , it collapsed beneath him .
I was recalled from such pleasant reveries when one of the women leaned across the table . “ Father Pimpernel ,” she asked , “ What do you think of Pope Francis ?” Oh dear . Not that again . I opened my mouth to make my standard reply . When , all of a sudden , a new and surprising answer sprang , unbidden , to my lips .
“ Well ”, I began , “ I do feel so sorry for him . He always seems so profoundly unhappy .”
Instantly , a silence spread across the table . You could have heard a pin even if it hadn ’ t dropped . It was as if I had uttered an American profanity . One of the men , the sort of bloke whose dinner jacket always seems two inches too small and who , I had gathered , was “ something in oil ”, broke the silence . “ But he ’ s so kind and sympathetic . Look at the way he embraces cripples . He ’ s so humble .”
“ Exactly ”, broke in his wife . She had an angry red spot on her shoulder which she had tried to conceal with cosmetics . It ’ s the sort of thing I notice . “ He ’ s just like Princess Di .”
“ Only not so beautiful ,” added the first woman . Have you noticed how it ’ s always the women , not the men , who think of Diana Spencer as ‘ beautiful ’?
In for a penny , in for a pound . “ I ’ m not really too sure ”, I began , “ that embracing cripples is , in itself ,
terribly significant . It is , of course , if it ’ s part of a pastoral relationship . I mean , if the Holy Father stays in touch with the cripple and builds on the relationship and keeps an eye on his needs . There ’ s always the risk that public gestures , on their own , might be designed to draw attention to oneself . The Lord did rather warn us , in His Sermon on the Mount , about the dangers of public gestures .”
“ Are you seriously suggesting ”, said the husband of the spot , “ that Pope Francis is not as loving in private as he seems to be in public ?” His dinner jacket seemed to have become even smaller . “ How can I know ?” I replied . I felt that the conversation was getting out of my control . “ Who am I to judge ? But people do say that the Vatican isn ’ t a terribly happy place .”
“ Christmas before last , the Pope , for a Christmas present , told off those he works with for the sixteen different character defects which they exemplified . How would you like it if the CEO of your company called you in on Christmas Eve and ...”
I had clearly forgotten the maxim “ If you ’ re in a hole , stop digging ”. Happily , I was saved by the entry of the pudding course … apple , horse radish , and olive oil sorbet ...
THE P RTAL
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