Snapd
ragon
THE P RTAL
August 2014
Who defines the
Ordinariate?
Snapdragon grapples with a question of identity
Over recent
months I have had to do quite a lot of listening. A friend suffering
with very low self-esteem needed someone to talk things over with and an acquaintance
who was trying to salvage a struggling business was in search of a sympathetic ear. I’m not
sure how helpful I have been to either of them – I’m an expert in neither problem – but their
very different problems have taught me a thing or two about the Ordinariate.
feelings of low selfesteem in his childhood
My friend’s counsellor had identified the roots
of his feelings of low self-esteem in his childhood.
Essentially, all his life, beginning from a quite unhappy
beginning, he has allowed other people to tell him
who he was. Though he had ideas about who he was
and entertained aspirations for his life, he has allowed
others’ perceptions to define him.
We all experience hurtful words in the playground
about our appearance and so on – children can be
cruel. Most of us survive unscathed and as we get older
learn that there will always be people in life who want
to belittle us and tear us down. For some, the degree
of teasing and browbeating in their early years can
be quite damaging. It is more of a challenge for them
later in life not to allow the critic and the detractor to
determine who they are and the course that their life
will take.
It is fair to say that we have encountered critics along
the journey into and as the Ordinariate. Some of the
criticism has been constructive and helpful, and I’ve
tried to heed my father’s advice to me as a child to
listen to those who genuinely want to help; but some
of it has been rather reminiscent of the playground.
not to lose sight of who we truly are
There is a danger that we can give the latter too much
power to define us. It is easy to get so caught up in
what others are saying about us, that we start to see
ourselves in that way. As the Ordinariate develops it is
important for us not to lose sight of who we truly are
and the qualities that are part of who we are. As we face
the challenges of later life, we should remind ourselves
who we are and not be shaped into something that
others have deemed us to be.
My acquaintance learnt that businesses too are
vulnerable, like people. His problem, though quite
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different to my friend’s, was not in every way dissimilar.
At the end of the day, what he had failed to do, by his
own admission, was clearly to define his business and
thereby allow potential customers’ impressions of it be
shaped by somebody else. He learnt very painfully, but
I think to his long-term advantage, that in marketing
if you don’t control your own messaging, somebody
else will.
communicating our key messages
We are not in the business of securing deals and
seeing off competition, but we do want to succeed
and grow. Therefore, as we plan our strategy for future
years we need to be clear what our key messages are
and to communicate them often and simply, otherwise
someone else will write the script for us.
Almighty God,
our heavenly Father,
who, through the Child-Bearing of Mary,
gave us your Son:
Grant us also, by the power of your Spirit
and through the intercession
of Our Lady of Walsingham,
that the Called to be One Exploration Day
may bear fruit
to the increase of your Church
and the glory of your Name;
Through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.