The Pink Paper Fall 2013 | Page 17

Sex & Intimacy in the Pink The Phoenix Rises ~ A Rebirth of Sexuality After Cancer C ancer can lead to profound healing in every part of our lives. We get clear about what’s important, what’s not and start living life fully. We know this isn’t a dress rehearsal. Each moment is precious. What does it take to thrive in your intimate and sexual life after cancer is in your story? Many women say sex wasn’t all that great before diagnosis, and now it hardly seems worth the effort to bring it out of the ashes. I say, let the phoenix rise from the ashes! How? Let’s go on an exploration together, where we use our minds to create the vision for a happy and satisfying intimate and sexual life and thrive in these areas. First, change your attitude. In spite of the taboos we’ve all grown up with, we can experience both sacred and healing aspects of sexuality. Believe intimacy and sexuality can be gateways to a profound mixture of spiritual and human love. Choose to walk through this gateway. Spend time writing down your beliefs about intimacy and sexuality. Ask yourself some questions to help get started. Who taught you about sexuality? Were you ashamed of your sexuality? Do you have anything to heal related to your intimate and sexual life? Getting things onto paper helps to see what’s inside. When we see it, we can make choices about what we want to heal or change, and begin to take steps in that direction. Once you’ve had an attitude adjustment, make a metaphoric funeral pyre for your shame, guilt and judgments about lust, libido, sexiness and sexuality as well as how your sex life was before cancer. Create a ritual by burning what you’ve written. As the old beliefs, experiences and limitations go up in flames, thank BY BARBARA MUSSER them for how they served you and release them into the flames. See them turn to ashes. Now, let the phoenix rise! In Greek mythology, the phoenix is a long-lived bird that is cyclically regenerated or reborn. Associated with the sun, a phoenix obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor. It’s time for a rebirth of your sensuality and sexuality. Let the phoenix symbolize the awakening of your Inner Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty, love and sexual rapture. We all continued on page 21 Fall 2013 THE PINK PAPER 15