The Perfect Gentleman Issue 9 - Christmas | Page 27

About 15 years ago, I was involved in a project in
Kazakhstan. One of the main characters on the
Kazakh side, was a man in his late 50’s, hard as
nails, a man who went from being a bolt in the
apparatus to leading the machine. He came to
enormous wealth and was not shy about his
elevated standard of living. Using our down
time between negotiations we discussed the ‘old
times’ and new money, literature and his
grandkids. After the end of the assignment, he
emailed me inviting to his birthday celebration.
A modest 500 people gala with a well known
entertainer as a main figure, I politely declined,
but proceeded to printing out a short poem he
liked, framing it and sending it to him, it’s been
a long time since I heard a grown man cry on
the phone he was touched I took the time and
amazed I remembered. The gift was not more
than £10-15, including postage. We are still
friends and even though over the years we
mostly exchanged books, he still has the poem
handing on a wall of his modern day palace.
As our lives get more hectic, out days shorter
and our down time more precious, as the
epidemic of depression in the world is reaching
mammoth proportion, as we lose ourselves in
the rat race, we forget that by giving we get
plenty back just check the occupational therapy.
In the spirit of soulful giving I would humbly
like to make suggestion to our dear readers.
Take your time... to plan ahead. Keeping a
calendar of important dates, beyond the
national holidays, but personal occasions,
special events, birthdays of your friends and
their anniversaries and their kids’ birthdays,
this will not only make your own year more
festive, but will earn you grateful and loyal
friends. Get to know the people around you,
use your conversations to make little notes of
the characteristics, inside jokes, favourite things
and interests. Look around when they invite
you over. Don’t snoop, but note, see something
that have seen better days?

If you think your loved one is spending way
too much time at home and would benefit for a
little outdoor activity, invite him to join you in
one. You might learn that he/she might enjoy
experience more then things, so a knitting class
voucher would do both, have him involved in
an indoor activity, but in company of others.
They might discover a new passion, but don’t
push. If your friend is a practical person, avoid
giving knick-knacks, no matter how cute, you
may think that a state of the art potato peeler is
not an appropriate gift, but it may be the one
thing he really wanted... if the person likes
posting pictures of his family on social media,
may be a gift voucher for a framed picture or a
canvas print out would be the one to touch his
heart. An annual subscription to both the
Economist and the Spectator will set you back
around £12!!! For £12 the person you like, love
or just admire, will think of you every time they
hear that smacking noise on the floor when the
postman pushes the new issue trough their
door- speaking of sharing wisdom ☺ Always
take the time to write a card! Write from the
heart, thank your friend or loved one for being
in your life, and tell them why this gift is theirs
and how it will make them happy.
Take up a new hobby. Enjoy. Love yourself and
fellow man and as Oscar Wild once said 'never
give a woman anything she can’t wear in the
evening' but then again, he never met me!

Use that knowledge by getting personalised
gifts. If your friend or family member likes
spending time at home, don’t give them hiking
boots, the gift is for them to enjoy not for you
to tell them what they should do.

CHRISTMAS GENTLEMAN

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