The Perfect Gentleman Issue 9 - Christmas | Page 17

Being informed of our options is empowering,
and gives us a sense of confidence and selfcontrol as opposed to knee-jerk reactions that
can leave us regretful on occasion.
High profile politicians are experts at this.
They undergo vigorous amounts of training,
self-reflection and analysis before any media
appearances. Every hand gesture, nod, smile
and outfit is orchestrated to portray a certain
image, meaning they are able to influence and
persuade their audience to think and do the
things they want them to. It is believed that
their visual appearance is much more likely to
be remembered than specific statements or
policy pronouncement.
Once you have an awareness of body language
signals it can be quite interesting to watch
politicians’ non-verbal expressions. The
automatic signals given off during the silences
are what experts call micro-expressions, and
are more in-line with what they are really
thinking and feeling, especially when they are
caught off-guard and are unscripted or
unrehearsed. They can of course quickly
recover from the minor slip up, and to the
untrained eye this can often go unnoticed.
Small movements of the eyes can be
significant, not just for politicians but for all of
us, and it can be very challenging to control,
for example, looking down can mean
submission (or perhaps guilt), to the left is an
indication of visualising and remembering
(perhaps the truth) and to the right is classed as
imagination and constructing (or perhaps
fibbing). With this in mind, watching replays of
the Trump/Clinton live debates could prove an
interesting exercise.

But, as with all powerful information, it is good
advice to remember that a little knowledge can
be dangerous, so we must all be careful to take
the whole context of a situation into
consideration before we decide about
someone’s real motives.
Acquiring controlled body language takes
practice and self-awareness. The late Jacqueline
Kennedy Onassis once said that we should
never ever let people know what we are
thinking. Wise words indeed, but of course
achieving the perfect poker face takes much
practice.
For me, it is a vital balance between selfawareness and remaining natural, I don’t wish
to become so pre-rehearsed that I lose my
authenticity. Sometimes I will laugh too loud if
something amuses me, or my eyes may give
my feelings away on occasion, but to never
show our true feelings means we can lose the
opportunity of connecting with others.
Ultimately, an awareness of these skills should
be used to help us work towards becoming the
best version of ourselves, and balance, I think,
is key.
One of London’s five star luxury hotels has
illuminated signs above every door that leads
from a private staff area to a public space that
read ‘On Stage’, serving as a gentle reminder to
employees that they are always being noticed
and observed, even if they are not actively
communicating with anyone. I think we could
all benefit from this mindset; that as soon as we
leave the comfort of our own home we are
performing on our own world stage, where we
have the ability to influence and inspire others,
and leave a legacy for the younger generation
through our gestures, mannerisms and, of
course, good manners.

Mannered Gentleman

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