But there weren’t words for it.
I took a few minutes to lay there and attempt to give off some kind of spiritual presence, unable to summon the courage to reach out and touch them. Mom whistled. Dad snored.
“Well,” I sighed, “I guess that’s all. It was nice seeing you guys.” I got up quickly, trying to get out of there before I had the chance to get too emotional. There was a slight rustling behind me.
When I turned to look back at them from the doorway, they both had rolled on their side to face each other and their fingertips were touching over the place I had just been.
It was enough for now.
“Feeling better?” Paul Michael asked when I joined him outside. The taste in my mouth had turned sickly sweet.
“No, actually, I feel like hell.” My eyes were watery, my face was splotchy, and the worst part was that Paul Michael could see it all. He knew better than to try and comfort me. The track record had shown him that it only made me angrier.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to wake them up so you can talk to them?” His constant desire to help people always amazed me; even when insulted, he still wanted what was best for me. I shook my head quickly, wiping the tears from my eyes as I did so. Paul Michael puffed out his lips the way he always did when he was right. “So, you want to stay here for eternity, but you don’t want to talk to our parents?”
“And what if they can’t feel me, like Greg didn’t? Why would I want to talk to them only to learn that I wasn’t connected to them at all? That in the grand scheme of things all of my relationships were worthless?” I shouted. I didn’t give a damn about yelling this late at night – Paul Michael was the only one who could hear me anyway.