The Parade December 2015 | Page 23

I Flirting in the office turned sour am single girl who is in her early 20s. I recently got a job at a very promising company; I can see myself standing on my own feet. I used to have a boyfriend who was taking care of all my needs but l ended it with him, I wanted to have space. I have a male co-worker whom I have been talking to for the past two months that I have been employed at this organization. It so happened that I developed feelings for this guy and it appeared as if he was developing feelings for me as well. We started flirting and he was responding, we seemed to have feelings for each other as we could talk for hours, smile at each other, buy each other lunch and even miss each other though no one was in a position to tell. No one was confident enough to explain what was happening between us. At one point we kissed when everyone else was out of the office. From this incident onwards I thought he was all mine, and that we are having a relationship just like any other people only that we didn’t open up about it. I started joking around with the truth saying, he is my boyfriend telling other workmates. Little did I know that there are other girls looking at him with the same eye I was looking at him with? In other words this guy has been flirting with other girls, which is the same situation which was happening to me but I thought mine was a unique one. I feel cheap, betrayed and used. I can’t stand to see other girls all over him. I am hurt I thought we had a something going on which was going to develop and become love. Should I go to him and tell him how I feel, or tell these other girls that he is mine. Maureen, Norton VaChihera’s answer Dear Maureen It’s good that you feel cheap and used, because you are. I don’t know what made you leave your boyfriend, now I am beginning to doubt your reason of wanting space; you wanted to be with your work-mate right? My dear why would you stoop so low, what made you think you were going to win his heart? A girl should at least have some pride to let a guy walk up to her not to be all over him for nothing. Stop lying to yourself that he doesn’t have the confidence to tell you about his feelings, he doesn’t want you. Admit it, it was just an infatuation. Confronting to him is a bad idea, just try to ignore the obsession you were having and move on. If he really wants you he will come around. I hope this is a lesson learnt in future you don’t just leave people that you have been dating because you think you have found the ones you are attracted to. By the way what did you mean by saying I can stand on my own? Don’t tell me you had that man so that he can take care of your needs only and nothing else. Before you go around looking for love, first love yourself dear, so that you don’t end up throwing yourself at everyman you come across and hurting yourself at the end of the day. TP VaChihera is a platform through which Chihera gives advice for specific situations in our lives. We highlight and discuss burning issues on love, sex and marital issues, from a woman’s perspective. To hear Chihera’s point of view and advice on your problems & comments, write to VaChihera at [email protected] or www.facebook.com/ theparade.kenako Page 23 The Parade - Zimbabwe’s Most Read Lifestyle Magazine December 2015