PADDLER 22
Many thanks, Ray, for your help – we appreciate it once again.
PADDLER 22
Big Pine Rapid on the French River, Ontario
Quickfire questions:
If your canoe had a name, what would it be? The canoe must decide on its name.
What’ s The strangest thing you’ ve been floating in the water? Not the strangest, but the most surprising. Off a Scottish island, in a sea kayak, I spotted two fins flopping about in the water. I paddled across to have a look. I looked down to see the biggest, open mouth I had ever seen. I was very quickly elsewhere. Then I stopped and called myself a stupid … It was my first encounter with a basking shark. Ever since, I have relished these encounters, but that first one was a complete shock.
If you could only paddle to the beat of one song, what song do you choose? Lose Yourself by Eminem – the chorus rather than the song as a whole. Maybe not the beat but the idea of seizing the moment, and maybe it is the one chance.
What essential gear do you always bring? A spare paddle. It’ s so easy to drop one, and the spare saves the embarrassment.
If your canoe could talk, what would it say about your paddling skills?“ Mind the bloody stern!” on ledgy rivers canoes have a habit of smacking the stern down on the lip with a loud crack. Other than that, I think the canoe is happy with me.
If you could only bring three items on a canoe trip – what would they be? If it were paddling kit, it would be one of my wooden paddles from Freebird, a buoyancy aid because I am such a crap swimmer, and my GoPro to tell the story. For the shore, it would be a tarp( I can’ t live comfortably without one), a good sleeping bag and, most importantly, dry socks. Life still has pleasures if you can have warm, dry feet.
What’ s the oddest snack you’ ve ever eaten while paddling? Deep-fried, rehydrated vegetables! For a thirteen-day trip, a Canadian outfitter provided us with a poor selection of food, but we had a mass of batter mix and fat for frying fish. We were terrible at catching fish and desperate for anything different to eat, so we tried battering and deep frying cereal bars and then, in desperation, rehydrated veg. It was not particularly successful.
What’ s the strangest thing you’ ve ever tried to transport in a canoe? Various rocks and bits of timber for the house and garden. Paddling a canoe, I have often volunteered to transport‘ treasures’.
What’ s your most unusual canoeing ritual or superstition? Scouter starts on the river! Boat pointed up into the current or up eddy. Then, with one foot in the canoe, shove off quickly and hard to get the speed and angle for the first move. If I know I have an audience, I avoid picking up the paddle until the arc is well underway. Mind, I will do this even if no one else is around. It makes me smile and even giggle with a particularly good one. PS I don’ t do this when I am frightened.
What’ s the ultimate canoeing superpower you wish you had? Ankles and legs that still worked after hours in the boat.
If you could only speak in canoe-related puns for a day, what would be your best one? No canoe puns, but did you hear about the Greenland kayaker who suffered from cold feet? He took to paddling with a blubber candle between his feet. One day, the candle toppled over in a storm, burning a hole in the kayak. The kayaker drowned, which gave rise to that well-known saying,“ You can’ t have your kayak and heat it.”
Finally, any shoutouts? To all of those I have paddled with over the years, to Venture and now Silverbirch for their support over the last years. I love my Freebird Paddles and, of course, NRS. And a big thank you to my so supportive and long suffering wife, Lina.
Many thanks, Ray, for your help – we appreciate it once again.