PADDLER 28
PADDLER 28
1 . PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
Like many other people , I dislike being watched when paddling . I often paddle worse with an audience than alone because it makes me nervous . A while back , I wrote an article about perfectionism , which links strongly with this . Someone with perfectionist tendencies will often fear people catching them failing and then judging them for it .
But failing and being judged for failing is not what ’ s happening . In reality , the only way you can learn is through failure . In reality , most people are far too preoccupied with themselves to even notice you . In reality , even if people do watch you and you do mess up , nobody cares . I know this , and yet it does not stop the anxiety around the fear of failure being any less overwhelming .
2 . IMPOSTER SYNDROME
This one ties very closely with performance anxiety and affects me a lot . Imposter syndrome is when you have a distorted perception of yourself and believe that you are a fraud in some way , and it is only a matter of time before everyone else finds out . In kayaking , this can make you feel very anxious about getting on the water and stop you from pushing yourself . The better I have got at kayaking , the worse my imposter syndrome has got .
I have a reputation for being loud and enthusiastic on the water and social media . Over the last few years , I have started to have people come up to me on the river or at kayaking events who I do not know but who know me . Mostly , I do not mind this – I love talking to people ! Especially about kayaking ! However , I often worry that people will assume I am better than I am and then be disappointed . I know it is ridiculous and probably untrue , but I worry .
Last year I bumped ( quite literally – knocked him off a wave ) into a guy at the Tryweryn who introduced himself . We had a lovely chat , and
Medals at Euro Open . he said he followed
Photo : Tom Clare my Instagram page . He said that following the professional paddlers was great , but sometimes watching their videos were boring because they were so good . He said he liked my account because seeing videos and photos that weren ’ t ‘ perfect paddling ’ was nice . It made me realise that no one cared or expected me to be the ‘ best paddler ’. I was anxious about being ‘ found out ’, and yet there was nothing for anyone to find out .
3 . OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING
This last one , I think , sums up the leading cause of anxiety for me . Sometimes you give a thought some thought even when you shouldn ’ t . What was one anxious thought then becomes a whole stream of them ! This can then build something up from something small into a bigger problem . I won ’ t go into specifics here as it can apply to anything . I am trying to point out