The Olive Press January 2009 | Page 4

opinion
6 the olive press - Eastern Edition - Issue 62 the olive press - Eastern Edition - Issue 62 opinion

opinion

6 the olive press - Eastern Edition - Issue 62 the olive press - Eastern Edition - Issue 62 opinion

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letters to the editor

Helping hands
Dear Editor , My name is Jackie and I volunteer with the animal charity FAMA ( Foundation for Abandoned and Mistreated Animals ). I was hoping it would be possible to be allocated a regular spot where we can feature a different dog each edition for adoption ?
Sadly we have many , many dogs that need homing and getting them noticed through your newspaper would be a great step towards placing them in a new home .
I understand that a regular spot may not be possible , therefore I would greatly appreciate it if I could send you photos and descriptions of some of our homeless dogs which could be used as fillers as and when possible . If you prefer , I could design and supply you with print-ready artwork , ready to be dropped into any space allocated .
I hope this is possible and I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience . Yours , Jackie , FAMA , Mijas
Thank you for your letter , Jackie . The Olive Press already runs a regular ‘ adopt-a-dog ’ section ( see page 2 ), but I wish we did not have to ! Anyway , if any reader is Mijas way and wants to help out , you can obtain more information on the charity ’ s website : www . f-a-m-a . net – Editor
Revisionism
Dear Editor , Regarding your story about the Archbishop of Granada ’ s comments (‘ Devastational ’ comments lead to holy row , issue 61 ), I thought the Muslims did a pretty good job of running Spain . I think it is the Christian religion , rather than Islam , that causes major slow downs in human development . I am sure that if the witch hunters , inquisitions etc had not murdered and tortured so many ‘ herbalists ’ and intelligent thinkers , we would have had a cancer cure years ago .
Anyway , let us hope that the latest religious war started by Hamas does not develop . Good job that Obama takes over shortly . Maybe an intelligent US leadership will make a difference , just a shame he is not an atheist . Adios , Paul Bateson , Alhama
Maybe you are right , Paul , about those cancer cures . Just think when we Christians were living in mud huts , the Muslims had the largest library in the world in Cordoba and were building the Alhambra in Granada . If the Archbishop thinks that those years were “ devastational ,” what are his opinions on today ’ s versions of the Islamic splendours of Spain : Algarrobico , golf courses , concreted coasts ? - Editor
Dear Editor , What a fool the Archbishop of Granada is if he thinks eight centuries of Moorish rule were “ devastational ” ( see last issue ). Without the Islamic influence , this part of Spain would not have the rich history , architecture and indeed language that it has now .
When we were running around like savages they had art , mathematics and language . What a blinkered view of history ! Yours , “ Fred ,” comment left on website , www . theolivepress . es

Shameful Sevillana

Pensioner TERRY FLOWER describes the Kafka-esque nightmare he endured when an electricity bill for more than 2,000 euros landed on his doorstep
YOU remember Maurice Chevalier singing ‘ Ah yes , I Remember it Well !’ from My Fair Miserable Gigi , or whatever it was , don ’ t you ? Well , I remember what I am going to tell you about very well indeed .
Mary I , lamenting the loss of Calais , said : “ When I am dead and opened , they shall find Calais lying in my heart .” Well , when I am opened up on a slab in the path lab , they will find the single word SEVILLANA engraved into my dessicated coronary tissues .
The shock to which I shall refer was hardly of the same magnitude as the loss of Calais , but once the initial incredulity had worn off , I must have felt the identical sinking sensation to that of the Burgomaster on his way earthwards from the Defenestration of Prague . To an elderly couple in straitened circumstances , it was quite a blow . Which is why I have to resort to writing stuff like this for the Olive Press to make a few bob .
I even recall what time of day it occurred for , breakfast over , I had just been subjected to a thorough bitch-slapping with wet wash cloths by a brace of hefty mujeres attired in nurses ’ uniforms . Experts in the art of levitation , those girls sort of float you off the bed and do a sheet change before gravity can pull you back down .
Post baño de cama , I was lying there all clean and beautiful .
My wife then came in to eat my grapes and gratify that universal female urge to “ Just tidy things up a bit .” Women . Oh , and she also brought in the missive in question : our electricity bill .
Unread meter
Since we came to live in Spain in 2000 , we had been amazed and delighted at how low our electricity bills had been – typically 22 euros for a two-month period . And , we imagined , these were genuine bills too , because on several of them it said , right there at the top : “ Our guy ’ s read your meter , and this is how much you have gotta divvy up , amigo .”
And now , out of the blue , came this bill for 2,085.76 euros ! My old minces a bit bleary at the time , I said : “ Twenty euros . Uh huh , same as usual , eh ?”
“ Er , no , darling . Actually it is two thousand and eighty five euros . Oh , and seventy-six centimos , of course .”
Cue cheeks draining of what little blood remains in the body , and heart trip-trapping like Billy Goat Gruff crossing the bridge . An electricity bill for more than 2,000 euros for a one bedroomed house ?
See , it seems that contrary to what was stated on the bills , there had been a little slip up , and nobody had actually read our meter after all . I guess Se-
SHOCKED : Terry Flower eyes the bill in question at his Axarquia home
villana ’ s accountancy department must have slipped over to Britain for some lessons in creative accountancy from Grendel Brown .
Now , I have to tell you that Diana – the wife – is one formidable lady ; the sort of indomitable female who once marched through searing deserts and
followed and , within days , we were told that Sevillana agreed to Diana ’ s proposal , the alacrity of which instantly aroused my suspicions . In fact , I began to wonder if such a slap-happy way of running a business is even legal ; to actually lie in print for more than four years , then demand a whopping great sum
snake-
and
insect-infested
to cover up the lie does seem a
swamps alongside their empirebuilding husbands . And in ankle length skirts too ! So , while I was having some Dyno-Rod treatment on the old arteries in the hospital , she was on the phone giving some earache to Sevillana . No excuses or apologies were proffered for this appalling
trifle off , doesn ’ t it ?
Admittedly more rarely seen than the Halley ’ s comet or Beast of Bodmin Moor , surely Sevillana have men in vans reading meters in the campo , don ’ t they ? Well , if they were not reading our meter , what were they doing ? Sitting in a
blunder , and the conversa-
bar
somewhere ?
Moonlight-
tions went something like this : S :“ Oh , that is all right . You can pay the bill over two years .”
D : “ Uh , uh ! No way ! Listen , we are on low pensions , and we can ’ t possibly afford 90 euros per month ! Anyway , it is not our fault but yours ! We have been lied to for almost five years , so we want to pay this bill over five years .”
S : “ Blah , blah , blah . I will get on to someone higher up the food chain .”
An exchange of letters then
ing as Guardia Civil ? Or , has someone at Sevillana done a bit of the old payroll-packing , with a couple of hundred spectral drivers in ghostly vans wafting about ? Questions ! Questions ! It is a bit like the mediæval metaphysical question of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin – one which is more likely to receive an answer than any of those asked about Sevillana .
Our suspicions sharpened to a razor edge , we discovered that almost every couple that
we knew had had the same experience ; months and years of ludicrously low bills , and then a whopping great bill coming out of the blue . And I have no doubt that dozens , probably hundreds , of people reading this will have been treated in the same shoddy manner .
Legal or not , this is completely unacceptable ; especially now that the disastrous pound to euro exchange rate is eroding the value of our sterling savings and pensions so seriously . One suspects that if some wealthy individual – some pensioners ’ organisation , or some crusading newspaper such as the Olive Press took up the cudgels on behalf of Sevillana ’ s victims – then some redress might be obtained .
It could even be taken to Yurp ; but I would not hold your breath for a result . It would probably come through about a year after the engraver had finished with my ticker .
And you ? Have you fallen foul to shoddy treatment at the hands of Spain ’ s utilities companies ? Contact the Olive Press : mark @ theolivepress . es
Warm payments
Dear Editor , I am interested in contacting any group that might be pursuing the case of pensioners living here in Spain who are not eligible for cold weather payments , despite being well-over retirement age . Is there anyone who might or who is willing to stand up for us ? Yours , Keith A Ward , Frailes
If I were you , Keith , I would contact Age Concern España . I reckon they would be a good bet . You can contact them on 951 318 234 – Editor