By Kasey Siciliano, McAuley
I really like this girl, but she’s my mom. What should I
-Confused About Life
Will you write my English essay for me? I know you
speak Latin, but I need help. PLEASE?
Dear Confused About Life,
DO NOT MARRY HER UNDER ANY
CIRCUMSTANCES!!! It will end badly.
Dear Struggling Student,
I am not familiar with this English you speak of.
You’re soooooo cute! I want to be your bae... Can I?
-Your Secret Admirer
What’s your favorite way to annoy Flavia et Cornelia?
Dear Secret Admirer,
I only have eyes for Flavia. Sorry.
Dear Puer Molestus,
This is an advice column.
My uncle kidnapped me and my mom has created
winter. I’m getting hungry. What should I eat?
I have a headache… I think I am a child