Fall 2015
Dear Sextus
By Kasey Siciliano, McAuley
Dear Sextus
I really like this girl, but she’s my mom. What should I
do?
-Confused About Life
Dear Sextus,
Will you write my English essay for me? I know you
speak Latin, but I need help. PLEASE?
-Struggling Student
Dear Confused About Life,
DO NOT MARRY HER UNDER ANY
CIRCUMSTANCES!!! It will end badly.
-Sextus
Dear Struggling Student,
I am not familiar with this English you speak of.
-Sextus
Dear Sextus,
You’re soooooo cute! I want to be your bae... Can I?
-Your Secret Admirer
Dear Sextus,
What’s your favorite way to annoy Flavia et Cornelia?
-Puer Molestus
Dear Secret Admirer,
I only have eyes for Flavia. Sorry.
-Sextus
Dear Puer Molestus,
This is an advice column.
-Sextus
Dear Sextus,
My uncle kidnapped me and my mom has created
winter. I’m getting hungry. What should I eat?
Fer auxillium!
-Kidnapped Niece
Dear Sextus,
I have a headache… I think I am a child