The New Wine Press March 2018 | Page 10

Fear, Narcissism, and Another Way by Fr. Gary Richmeier, c.pp.s., Kansas City, Missouri The mental health of the person who occupies the White House has been under much scrutiny lately. Not a few mental health professionals have suggested that his behavior resembles someone with narcissistic per- sonality disorder. A narcissist is someone who cannot or will not view reality from another’s viewpoint. Such a person tends to evaluate everything only in regard to how it affects him/her. A narcissist often needs the focus (good or bad) to be on them, because that is how they gauge their importance. Whether or not the person in the White House is ac- tually a narcissist, his focus on himself and his achieve- ments seems to have given many others permission to openly engage in the same dynamic. Of course, he is not the first to exhibit this quality. His election may have been only the logical culmination of the steady growth of that egocentric, narcissistic dynamic in our country over the last number of years. There are a number of factors that push us human beings toward being self-centered. They tend to be in- tertwined, and most have fear as the root motivator. Greed can be described as the epitome of self- centeredness, and it is often about wealth and power. A person caught in this trap is fearful of losing control, so they have to get more and more to feel secure. But in this age of nuclear threats and terrorism, it is almost impossible to feel totally in control, so the wealthy and powerful focus on amassing more and more wealth and power for themselves, trying to allay their fears. This often results in costly and useless battles among those with power, whether on the battle field, in con- gress, or elsewhere. When some amass power, control, and wealth, it necessarily means that others will not have the same power and control and will certainly have less wealth. For these people, the fear is that they don’t matter or aren’t important. However, the greatest fear is that something of what they hold important won’t survive, be it their values, their freedom, their culture, their religious practices, or even they themselves. In response, we see the rise of the gun culture as people trust only themselves for protection. We see sometimes violent protests as people who don’t have power and control 8 • The New Wine Press • March 2018 take to the streets to be heard. We see religious terrorists who brutally kill people because they are afraid that the cultures or governments in power will endanger their religion and its practices. We see inner city youth join- ing gangs to feel important because there are few other opportunities in their environment to find that. We see people who voted for the kind of president we have now because they feared no one in government was listening to them, so they wanted to “shake things up.” It is unrealistic to think that we humans can be totally other-centered. We have an instinct for survival and self-preservation, without which we would prob- ably not be around long. But we also have the ability to understand that seeing to the needs of others is also crucial to our own survival, security, and happiness. That understanding is possible only when we don’t let fear run our lives. Jesus often told his followers “Do not be afraid.” Why? Because he knew that fear is what prevents people from taking the risk to love. Managing our fear is thus the first step in letting God’s love flow through us more smoothly. As a Precious Blood community with our particu- lar charisms, we are in a good position to help people manage fear, and thus minimize the movement toward narcissism and self-centeredness. Our work of recon- ciliation brings together those who experience only opposition and division, in hopes that familiarity might breed trust and unity. Using Circle conversations is a specific and powerful way to help people hear and understand that we are much more similar than we are different as human beings. It is very difficult not to feel compassion when hearing another’s heartfelt life story. Our preferential option for the poor and our min- istry to the marginalized help people know they are important, that they count. This can help them resist finding their importance in less constructive ways. It can also be an example to others who “forget” that the powerless and ignored are still part of the human family. Our ministry of the Word can be a powerful tool to invite people away from narcissism and toward living more as the one Body of Christ. To imitate Jesus by