Leadership
Don ’ t Hold Your Breath by Fr . Richard Bayuk , c . pp . s ., Editor
The wildly popular nbc drama , This Is Us , tells the generational story of the Pearson family — Jack and Rebecca and their three children , Kate and Kevin ( biological ) and Randall ( adopted ), born on the same day . The program moves between the family ’ s beginnings in the 1980s to the present day , chronicling the lives of each character and the family .
In the final episode of season two [ spoiler alert ], it is Kate ’ s wedding day . She had a very close relationship with her father , up to the day that he died while she was in high school . Since his death , she has kept the urn holding her father ’ s ashes . On the morning of her wedding Kate drives to a spot in the woods that was for her and her father a favorite place for conversation . She sits on a large stump with her arm around the urn and begins to speak .
“ You remember the carnival that would come to town every summer with those old roller coasters ? I loved riding those with you . Feeling so scared , but so safe , all at the same time . I ’ ve been holding on to that feeling for a really long time now , the feeling of you next to me . But , Dad , I ’ m getting married today . And I ’ ve got to make room for Toby . I ’ ve got to let go a little now .” We see her taking the cover off the urn as the scene ends .
Later , at the wedding reception , Kevin , giving a toast to his sister Kate , speaks to her , his brother Randall , and his mother . “ Earlier last year , Kate said something to me that was , well , profound . She said , ‘ Kevin , if you don ’ t allow yourself to grieve Dad ’ s death , it will be like taking a giant breath in and just holding it there for the rest of your life .’ At the time , I didn ’ t want to hear any of that . But here we are and I ’ m thinking maybe you were onto something when you said that to me . I think we ’ ve all been holding our breath for a long time . So , before we toast Toby and Kate , I think the four of us should release that breath together . I think it ’ s important that we do that , that we just let go of those things we ’ ve been holding onto . So here we go .” The camera then focuses on each one individually as they take a deep breath and then slowly exhale .
As we grow and mature and age , we are invited to let go again and again in order to make room , to become something new — as individuals , families , parishes , religious communities . Some of it is obvious and exciting and eagerly chosen , some is thrust upon us ( illness , continued on page 6
2 • The New Wine Press • April 2018