Leadership
Don’ t Hold Your Breath by Fr. Richard Bayuk, c. pp. s., Editor
The wildly popular nbc drama, This Is Us, tells the generational story of the Pearson family— Jack and Rebecca and their three children, Kate and Kevin( biological) and Randall( adopted), born on the same day. The program moves between the family’ s beginnings in the 1980s to the present day, chronicling the lives of each character and the family.
In the final episode of season two [ spoiler alert ], it is Kate’ s wedding day. She had a very close relationship with her father, up to the day that he died while she was in high school. Since his death, she has kept the urn holding her father’ s ashes. On the morning of her wedding Kate drives to a spot in the woods that was for her and her father a favorite place for conversation. She sits on a large stump with her arm around the urn and begins to speak.
“ You remember the carnival that would come to town every summer with those old roller coasters? I loved riding those with you. Feeling so scared, but so safe, all at the same time. I’ ve been holding on to that feeling for a really long time now, the feeling of you next to me. But, Dad, I’ m getting married today. And I’ ve got to make room for Toby. I’ ve got to let go a little now.” We see her taking the cover off the urn as the scene ends.
Later, at the wedding reception, Kevin, giving a toast to his sister Kate, speaks to her, his brother Randall, and his mother.“ Earlier last year, Kate said something to me that was, well, profound. She said,‘ Kevin, if you don’ t allow yourself to grieve Dad’ s death, it will be like taking a giant breath in and just holding it there for the rest of your life.’ At the time, I didn’ t want to hear any of that. But here we are and I’ m thinking maybe you were onto something when you said that to me. I think we’ ve all been holding our breath for a long time. So, before we toast Toby and Kate, I think the four of us should release that breath together. I think it’ s important that we do that, that we just let go of those things we’ ve been holding onto. So here we go.” The camera then focuses on each one individually as they take a deep breath and then slowly exhale.
As we grow and mature and age, we are invited to let go again and again in order to make room, to become something new— as individuals, families, parishes, religious communities. Some of it is obvious and exciting and eagerly chosen, some is thrust upon us( illness, continued on page 6
2 • The New Wine Press • April 2018