obedience
Training Day.
–by Dave Mize.
few times a week, I take Zeb to the local dog park just up the street from my house. It’s an easy way to let him get some exercise without much effort on my part. I throw the tennis ball a few times, play tug-o-war with a rope or sit back and watch him try to shred a Frisbee. While most of the other owners are happy to let their dogs run around and play, I’ve started to notice a disturbing trend. More and more people are coming to the park to showcase their dog’s talents. And it’s something they take very seriously, as if Hollywood talent agents are standing shoulder-to-shoulder hoping to discover the next Lassie or Rin Tin Tin. I usually ignore this group of people, but the other day curiosity got the best of me and I found myself walking over to see what all the cheering was about.The first act was a large black Poodle that was walking on his back legs as his owner shouted commands and encouraged him to take another few steps towards some imaginary finish line. From there, the acts never really got much more interesting. There was a Pomeranian that could hop in the air and do a sideways backflip. A Beagle barked on command while the owner tried to convince everyone he was actually talking. “Doesn’t it sound like he’s saying bowling ball?” the lady asked the crowd, some of whom nodded in agreement. I quickly became bored with the
20 THE NEW BARKER
A
talent show and walked back over to look for Zeb, who was no doubt performing one of his two favorite tricks—barking at the water fountain or trying to hump an old soccer ball—both of which he learned with no assistance or encouragement from me. After a half hour of fetching a stick and running, Zeb’s tongue was hanging out from exhaustion. As we were leaving the park, I noticed the group of people watching the performing dogs had swollen to twice its original size, although the acts didn’t look much more entertaining. The next weekend turned out to be cold and windy, and I didn’t really have much going on, so I decided to take a shot at teaching Ze "G&?6??b??2?v???^( ?2v??BF?r?'WBf?"v?FWfW"&V6???^( ?2?WfW"&VV?f??bf????v??rF?&V7F???2??G&?VBFV6???r???fWr&6?26????G22W??'WB?R?W7B?WfW"6VV?VB??FW&W7FVB?B?V?6??vfRW?'WBv?F?gV??F??VB?b?R??f?wW&VB?6?V?B??R6??R&?w&W72??v6?( ?B??FW&W7FVB???f??r???F???F???r6??w???v?FVB???F??V&?F?F?6??WF???r&7F?6??6??6WGF?VB??FV6???r???F?fWF6?F?R?Ww7W"???????r&6??F??2v2&WGG??&?F??W2v??f?"F?rF?Bv26??FV?BF?7V?B??2g&VRF??R6?Wv??r??6?gF&???6??VB&?6???F?R&6??&B?gFW"w&W7F??r??2&?6?g&???????w&&&VB??2?V6??BF?vWF?W"vRv?VBF?v?F?RG&?fWv?V?F??vR&V6?VBF?BF?( ?2VF?F????bF?R??6??Ww7W"?( ?vWB?B?( ??6?B???WF??&?FF?fRf??6R??R6?6?VB??2?VB?B7F&VBB?Rv?F??????b6??gW6????6???6?VBWF?R?Ww7W"?B?6VB?B????2??WF???B?W7B2V?6???R7?B?B?WB?F??2&?6W72&WVFVB?G6V?bf?"??F?W"FV?F??W2?"6?&Vf?&R?7F'FVBvWGF??r????VB?f??????WBF?RW"????2??WF??B?V?B??2?W???R6?WB6??R6?V?F?( ?BG&??B???r??B??F?W"&?&?V???2?Vw2vW&R6???WFV???6?VBW6???BF??6????W?B6''???V?G2?b7V?&??rF?r&6?WF?RG&?fWv?v???RW6??r??R??BF?V?7W&R??2??WF?7F?VB6??6VB&?V?BF?R?Ww7W"?( ?v^( ?&Rv???rF?F?F??2WfW'?F?V?F????RvWBF?R??r?b?B?( ??6?B?F???p???fb?6?&VFFVB6??'B6??6?V?BW???RF?R&?VVF??r6?r?&?2?R?B?VgB???7F??6??( ?( ?fRv?B??F?RF??R??F?Rv?&?B?( ?6?WfW'???&???r?f?"F?R?W?BvVV??F??2&V6?R?W"&?WF??R??v?V?BG&r???F?v?F?F?R7W&"???2???2F?vv??r??F?F?R6??7&WFR??FVf??B&?FW7B??( ?BwVW72?'W&?VB6??6RF?S6??&?W2??F6?F?Bv?V?B?&F??&??F?R#6V6??G2?b?F?B?B?6V?b?'WB?v2FWFW&??VBF?v??F??2&GF?R?bv???2?77V??r?Rv?V?BWfV?GV??v?fR???V?f?'GV?FV???B?WfW"v?BV6?W"???f7B??B&V6?RWfV???&RF?ff?7V?B&V6W6R?V"v?V?B'V??fb?B??FRv?V?WfW"?R6r?Rv?F?F?R?V6??v?F???&V???F?6V&?R&?w&W72?FR??F?Bv?B??F?r?v?W'2F??B&W6?'FVBF?'&?&W'??F?Rf????v??r??&???r??w&&&VB?VgF?fW"???g&??F?Rg&?FvR?B&Vv??V6???r?fb6W6vW2?BWW&???2?6??v??VF??r???F?v?F?RG&?fWv??BF?v&G2F?R?Ww7W"??R6?Rv????rBf?'7B?6???rWV6???'6V??V?f?'GV?FV??2vRv?B6??6W"F?F?RV?B?bF?RG&?fWv???7F'FVB'V????r??r???VBF???w2?B?BF?&W6?'BF??????2?BWW'2( 2??BW?7F?F?Rv??B7F?F&B?bF?v'&?&??rG&VG2??W7B2?v2??F??r???&?6???fR??R7?GFVBF?R?Ww7W"?B&V??VB?R?B&VV?G&?6?VB?&Vf?&R?6?V?Bw&"?????RGW&?VB?B7&??FVBF?v&G2F?Rg&??BF??"??Vf??rG&???b7v?&??r?VfW2????2v?R??w&&&VBF?R?Ww7W"?F?&WrF?R?????F?Rv&&vR6??Bv?VB??&V???B????FW7W&FRf?"?FV2??FV6?FVBF?B&Vf?&R?R6?V?BfWF6?F?R?Ww7W"??R?BF?&R6??f?'F&?Rv?F??B????2??WF??6?2?V"vF6?VB???V?VBF?R?Ww7W"?BWB??R?b??2F?r&?67V?G2??6?FR??7FWVB&6???BF??7W'&?6R?R&Vv?v???rF?v&G2F?RW"?f?"6V6??B?F??Vv?BvR?B?W"f?'7B???"'&V?F?&?Vv??'WB?Bv26??'F?fVBf?7F?'??F??2?WF??B?W7B?fR6W6VB???F?f?WrF?R?Ww7W"2&?f?F?B?B?W7B6??7V?VB??R?b??2F?rG&VG2?'?F?RF??R?RV?BF?&6???rF?R?Ww7W"???F?Bv2?VgBv2??R?b6??fWGF??v?F???&V?&?w&W72F?6??rf?"?Vff?'B??6?RF?F?R6??6?W6???F?B?v2F?R&?&?V????BF?RF?r??wwr?F?T?Wt&&?W"?6???