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...under (be)wear continued...
...carelessly thrown to the floor. The $45 tube of chocolate flavoured body lotion gets flattened in the heat of passion and empties all over the sheets, staining them so badly that they have to be thrown out. And that’s if you’re lucky.
One military girlfriend didn’t even get to enjoy her purchase, discovering too late her sensitivity to latex. After an embarrassing trip to the hospital, she says she would still attend, but consider the glass version instead. Then there’s Cassidy*, a military wife in Wainwright, who purchased a two piece novelty set. “I didn’t even get the edible panties on my body,” she admits, “I’ve been on a no-sweets diet and they smelled so good that as soon as I opened my purchase bag that I had them for a snack. I couldn’t resist.They tasted terrible, anyway.”
Other stories abound, like the wife whose husband insisted she wear the sexy PVC Maid’s outfit every day to clean the house. Everyone’s heard about the girl who was accused of cheating when “things felt different” after regularly using a product while her boyfriend was on a course. The worst story of all comes from Kingston, where divorce is the word of the day for Karla*. Her husband was so offended at her purchase in 2009, that he hasn’t spoken to her since she arrived home from the party and showed it to him.
The products promise relationships will become more satisfying but in reality, they only cause grief, tension and lowered self-esteem, not to mention the allergic reactions so many women have discovered too late. Unless you’ve got something in mind that you can’t get anywhere else or are so starved for adult conversation, it might be better to save your cash and go to your closest adult store.
"he loves me in this outfit"
by Sheila Blige
*name changed