EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Emotional Awareness &
Managing Negative Emotions
Practical advice to help you identify and control emotions
In order to become more emotionally intelligent, the first skill
you must master is emotional awareness. Are you able to identify
your own emotions? Can you read the faces of people around
you? Do you know how to control your emotions and help others
manage their emotions?
Identifying Emotions
‘Emotions don’t need a language. They don’t need
permission to manifest. They are self-expressive;
they do not need extra help.’ - HH Younus AlGohar
Your face is transparent, like a revealing, see-
through dress. Whatever emotions you feel will
peek out. Whenever you experience an outburst
of emotions, those emotions will manifest upon
your face. When you are overjoyed, your entire
body becomes animated and your face lights up.
When you are feeling sad, you’ll likely have some
swelling on your face. When you are angry, even
while trying to control that anger, your nostrils
will flare.
For example, if someone is full of regret about
a wrong they did, it will show on their face. They’ll
look sombre, distressed - perhaps their eyes
will be red and their face swollen and blotchy
from tears. If you see these signs and you have
emotional awareness, it should be enough to
know that they are sorry. Upon realising they are
sorry, you should react appropriately.
His Holiness Younus AlGohar says,
‘When somebody does something
wrong, sometimes I make jokes with
them [rather than scolding them]. I
learnt it from His Divine Eminence
Gohar Shahi. His Divine Eminence
said, “When somebody does
something wrong, give him more
love so that he can correct himself.”’
Comforting Others
When somebody is injured, you bring out a first-
aid kit for them. The metaphorical first-aid kit
for someone who is emotionally injured is a wise
friend who not only knows how to comfort them
but also harnesses their emotions.
If someone is upset for any reason, as a
friend, you should try your best to make sure
their emotions do not overwhelm them. To do
this, you could offer them words of comfort and
give them practical advice to help them solve
the problem that is troubling them. You could
remind them, ‘Don’t lose hope. Bad days do not
stay forever.’
Part of consoling the emotionally
overwhelmed is ensuring that they are in a
sound environment where their emotional state
is respected. Make sure that they do not feel as
if no one cares about their pain. For example,
if all the people in a room are laughing merrily
while ignoring the person who is obviously
suffering emotionally, this is a mark of poor
character and low emotional intelligence. An
emotionally intelligent individual would behave
soberly around such a person and have the
tact to leave their presence, before creating a
cheerful atmosphere.
Taking Criticism
You may find that not a lot of people criticise you
to reform you; most will criticise for the sake of
criticism. Some people look for instruments to
find flaws in you, even when those flaws are not
to be found in you. Therefore, in the very first
instance, you need to know whether the criticism
is positive and coming from a fair-minded
person, who doesn’t hold a grudge against you
and who is not a habitual nagger.
On the other hand, make sure that you don’t
dismiss criticism based on the assumption that
the one criticising you is not genuine. You might
find this sort of thinking proves to be a good
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MESSIAH HERALD / ISSUE 04 / MAY 2017
MESSIAH HERALD / ISSUE 04 / MAY 2017
excuse not to listen to any criticism at all.
If it is true criticism, you must reflect on your
actions and deeds.
It is a blessing if you have a positive critic
around you because then, you don’t have to work
hard on correcting yourself. Your well-meaning
critic will do half the work for you by bringing to
your attention what needs to be changed; all you
have to do after that is make efforts to rectify
those issues.
HH Younus AlGohar asserts, ‘A positive critic
is the best of your mates.’
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