The Machinery Second Edition | Page 84

Of all sins, this was the one I didn’t think I would ever commit. I never imagined I would be confronted by the temptation, so it had no place on the to-do list of my mind. But now, it seems the most natural thing to do; the only path that slices a circle through this labyrinth of emotions and back to my former life—a path through which I must thread. I’ve heard of girls whose boyfriends accompany to places like this and I wondered what the world was coming to. But today, on my day, I am alone. I want Mike here. His presence may not be analgesic, but it will dignify my misery and make me feel less like an unclaimed luggage in the middle of an empty motor park. There is no Mike. He had exhumed many lifeless excuses so he could avoid today. I think of him as a pyromaniac. He has set me on fire and has climbed a distant tree to watch me burn. He will climb down only to check whether I burned properly or not. Gina nudges my life back into the reception. A doctor is standing some distance away from us. It is our turn; my turn. I look at Gina, the sharp sting of stifled tears peppering my eyes as though they are powdered glass. She gives me that supportive nod again, stands up with me and follows me down the passage, after the doctor. God bless Gina. 84