Whenever I’m scared
I’m 8 again.
Transported back to my bedroom.
Where it is completely dark and my door is shut
I’m shaking under my covers holding my breath so the darkness does not swallow me whole
Under my covers is a mix of crying and begging God to let the sun come up
To let the sunlight touch my curtains
Screaming for my mother to save me from the dark
But I fall asleep before I can see the sun rise
And as I wake up I remember the shaking begging and crying
I bury it deep down where my stomachs hot
Where my stomach twist and turns
And the fear stays there until the goodnights are said and the lights go out.
Until night tries to swallow me up again.
Until it’s time to beg god for the sun to come back.
Until I crawl into my mother bed crying cause I’m not strong enough to wait for the sun.
--Bethanny Evans