12
to a delay in the flow of electrical impulses that cause the
heart to beat.
I do not remember how many days I spent in the ICU; I was
unconscious most of the time. But, in the times I managed to
open my eyes and take in my surroundings, there was always
my mom right there by my side. Relatives came and visited me
every day. I came to realize that they actually did care about
me. Though I had failed my actual death, I had managed to
kill off my old, lifeless self.
When I was well enough to be moved out of the ICU and into
a new part of the hospital, I started to truly notice how my
actions had affected everyone. My mom would often cry; I
could see in her eyes the guilt she felt. My dad was visibly
upset about the whole situation, I found him to be in disbelief.
What struck me most was my little brother. He was unusually
quiet when he came to visit, looking at me with a face of
sorrow and fear. When my friends found out, they pulled away
from me even more, some dropping communication with me
completely. I guess they were just confused and too scared to
talk to me.
After the hospital stay and a rehabilitation service, I had
missed a month of school. This setback caused me to fall