Spring 2015
dimples when he smiled. Marie tracked him the same way I tracked Julia. Marie and I liked each other,
but neither of us was romantically interested in the other.
The bus arrived, and all twenty of us piled on. Robby was my seat mate, and he told me what seemed
like a million dirty jokes while I alternately looked out the window, admired Meg’s good looks—she and
Kevin sat across the aisle from us—and studied the back of Julia’s delicate neck; she sat alone a few seats
ahead of us. She seemed vulnerable and lonely. I thought about sitting next to her briefly and introducing
myself, but I knew I didn’t have the social skills to keep even a short conversation going.
Here’s the single Robby joke I remember: Why did the man chase his girlfriend around with a
hammer? He wanted to knock off a piece of ass!
Once at camp, we played basketball, met with Rick Robbins for a religious discussion, and ate dinner
in the dining hall. We were free to do as we pleased after dinner, so most of us trooped down an unlit
dirt road bordered with tall pines toward a clubhouse reserved for young people. The air was cool and
moist and the remaining daylight appeared as thin orange and pink strips in the darkening sky. Rocks
and dirt crunched rhythmically beneath our feet, accompanied by a chorus of crickets.
Just then, I heard loud scuffling behind me. I looked back and saw Julia burst out of the pines with
Malcom and Joey in close pursuit. Her blouse was untucked and her hair was disheveled. I sprinted back
up the road to help Julia just as she put some distance between herself and the twins. As soon as we met
up, she put her arm around my shoulder and told the twins, “I’m with him!”
As the predatory twins followed closely behind us, sometimes clipping our heels with their hard black
shoes, Julia put her arm around my waist and pulled me close. I did the same. She was safe and secure
now. And I was graced. This was the first time I’d ever been touched in a romantic or intimate way by
a girl my age. A warm current flowed through me that was instantly addicting. I wanted to feel this way
forever. I felt like a light bulb filled with electricity for the first time.
When we got to the clubhouse, Julia pulled me into a large overstuffed chair, where we sat pressed
tightly together. Despite my raging hormones, I didn’t feel sexual desire for Julia—I was too high from
the intimacy of her touch. I desperately hoped we were forming a bond that would allow us to touch for
the rest of our lives.
While we sat in contented silence, Malcolm and Joey slumped into a love seat across from us and
glared, kicking each other in their frustration to get at Julia. Dennis, who was passing a basketball back
and forth with Sean, was quick to pick up on the bad vibe. He slammed the ball into Malcolm’s shoulder.
“Move on, creeps. Leave those two alone.”
Julia and I flashed grateful smiles at Dennis as the evil twins slouched out of the cabin.
A knot of teens gathered around a stereo and checked out the cabin’s record collection, which included
a couple of Credence Clearwater Revival albums that were the rage back then.
In a corner, Marie talked animatedly with Tommy while he smiled shyly. I hoped they could create
a strong connection. I was glad Julia had simply put her arm around me. The rest of the group was
comprised of couples like us who’d chosen to snuggle in the overstuffed easy chairs and love seats.
After an hour, we all left the clubhouse. Malcolm and Joey lurked outside, but Dennis raised the
basketball when he saw them. “You two go first so I can keep an eye on you,” he said.
They grudgingly complied.
The Linnet's Wings