The Link Winter 2019/2020 The Link Dec-Jan 2020 v3 | Page 40

Lost in translation! y y y y y y y y y Re-Roofing and Re-Slating Chimney Stacks Leadwork Guttering Built-up Flat Roofing Systems PVC Fascia Soffits Loft Conversions Porches Renovated FREE estimates A Mexican bandit made a speciality of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favourite cantina, sneaked up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit’s head and said: “You’re under arrest. Now tell me where you hid the loot or I’ll blow your brains out.” But the bandit didn’t speak English and the Ranger didn’t speak Spanish. As luck would have it, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger’s message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree at the back of the cantina. “What did he say?” asked the Ranger. The lawyer replied, “He said, ‘Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn’t dare shoot me.’” Good career choice! “You never get anything right,” complained the teacher. “What kind of job to you think you will get when you leave school?” “Well,” replied the student, “I want to be the weatherman on TV.” Bad bunny ... !! A woman walks into a vet’s waiting room, dragging a wet rabbit on a lead. The rabbit does NOT want to be there! “Sit, Bunnikins,” she says. Bunnikins glares at her, and sopping wet, jumps up on another customer’s lap, getting water all over him. “I said SIT, now be a good Bunnikins,” says the woman, slightly embarrassed. Bunnikins, wet already, squats in the middle of the room and pees on the floor. The woman, terribly embarrassed, shouts, “Damn it Bunnikins, will you be good?!” Bunnikins wanders over to a Dobermann, bites its nose and then chases it out of the waiting room. As the woman leaves to go after it, she turns to the rest of the flabbergasted customers and says: “I’m so sorry, I’ve just washed my hare and I can’t do a thing with it!” 40 To advertise call 01684 833715 or email: [email protected]