The LINK Fall 2017 | Page 28

FRIENDSHIP FRIENDS OF A FEATHER STICK TOGETHER BY JESSALYN HANDOJO D on’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend. Most of us have friends, or at least one friend - someone we spend time with, someone who knows us better than others do, someone we can count on when the need arises. It’s been said that a friend is a gift that we give our- selves. Yet, how much time do we really spend thinking about those people who matter more to us than all the other people we meet and interact with throughout our life, sometimes including our family? And most 28 THE LINK JANUARY 2018 importantly, how do we know they are not toxic to our lives? Have you ever heard of the quote, “One bad apple spoils the whole barrel?” This saying is es- pecially prevalent in friendship. Because of bad influences and negative effects, these unsuit- able companions can change our behavior, actions, and thoughts. The article I am writ- ing today addresses these three key features: how to spot the difference between friends, how to keep your relationship going with your friend, and finally, on helpful tips and behaviors you should avoid doing to your friend if you wish, as all of us do, to prevent conflict arising. A good friend is someone who supports you, cares for you, helps you with hard problems in life; someone who gives helpful advice, someone who doesn’t judge you, someone who doesn’t gossip about you behind your back, someone who listens to your problems without com- plaining and someone who loves you for who you really are. Here is an example of how a good friend might respond to a situation: You got an F for math and you are really upset with your grade. You call your friend and tell her/him how you feel. They comfort you and give you some great advice on what you could do to improve. A friend will remind you that a bad grade simply reflects where you are in your learning and it does not mean you are a failure as a person. They don’t say that you are dumb or stupid, but instead, they support you and offer to help you out! In contrast, bad friends are people who come with a facade of care, but instead destroying you the closer you get to them. Characteristics include inat- tentiveness to your problems, judging you, and not sharing times to listen to your issues and dilemmas. It can be difficult at times to connect the dots of who sums up into a bad or good friend, but most importantly, you have to look inside your heart. Deep inside, a instinct will ignite and tell you whether this specific person is toxic or not. Throughout the many unique and individual experiences I went through, the friendships I made were one in a million. These friends shaped me and formed me in so many ways. I have learned unfathomable amount through friendships as well as accumulating a lot of personal growth. The signifi- cance of friendships in my own life has taught me essential lessons: an open mind, respect, growth, and has given me a strong feeling for who I am. A relationship is required to be reciprocal to turn into friend- ship. That relationship only A good friend is someone who supports you, cares for you, helps you with hard problems in life evolves when they all love, un- derstand, and trust one another equally. A friendly relationship between people with strictly dif- ference outlooks and views are almost impossible. What makes friendship so special is that it turns stronger with care and maintenance. In the same way, disrespect towards it fade and destroy it away. Friendship in disparity doesn’t last very long. In order to maintain friendship, it must be valued and handled delicately because treatment towards friendship determines whether a friend is a genuine one or fair weathered. Friendship is undoubtedly a heavenly thing. Life is color- less and slow without a friend. Though real friends are not easy to find, a real friendship with a good person is a precious gift that could be a great sup- port for a lifetime. JANUARY 2018 THE LINK 29