The Lineup 2014 Festival Season | Page 9

Seek the heights: Have one preferably obnoxious friend in your group stick a broom in their backpack, broom side down. Then, attach a bright sign or totem to the top of the stick. The item will stand out above the crowd at the music fest, and serve as your key to meeting up with friends if you get separated. Be careful not to attach something too large in width, then you’re just the idiot blocking people's view.

Set a meeting place and wear a watch: Sometimes it’s fun to break away from friends, especially if you want to see different bands than your group. Set a common meeting place and wear an old-school watch to synchronize meeting times with your friends. Make sure it’s not “that one beer stand” either. You need a unique meeting place, or else you’ll never see them again.

Shoulder ride: It’s the most common site at a music festival — a girl dancing while sitting on a guy’s shoulders — but for good reason. It offers a great view of the crowd and a chance to find your friends. Make some new friends and climb up your neighbor to find your main group. It's also a great excuse to talk to the rather attractive person next to you.

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WHERE'S

WALDO?

There's nothing wrong with goin' solo at a music fest. But if you don't want to spend the day looking for lost friends, here are some tips:

THE THREE FESTS (WE WISH WERE REAL)

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Viral

This festival would bring together the creators of the top Viral YouTube videos for a weekend of live performances at The Googleplex in Mountain View, Calif. Psy of “Gangnam Style” fame? He’d be there. And so would Rebecca Black, Ylvis (“What does the fox say?”), that DJ behind the Harlem Shake, and the guy who wants you to “hide yo kids, hide yo wife.”

140

This festival would be dedicated to the best of Twitter’s 140-character statuses. Sort of like a “slam poetry” festival, the composers of today’s best tweets would get on stage to read their 140-character one-liners about the world around them. Celebrity tweeters would take to the stage to read their best tweets, as would politicians and comedians. The location? Iowa. Because we need to get more people to Iowa.

Bey Fest

This festival in Houston, Tex. (H-Town, bishes) will feature the same headliner each year: Beyoncé Knowles. It will feature artists tapped by the Queen in a day-long event, and then conclude with a performance by the diva herself. Naturally, it will take place on Sept. 4, her birthday.