The Soft Issue
August 2017
Stories From Outside
the ground before him. “God, I need this job”, he said in
a husky Igbo accent, his brawny hands rustling through
bushy hair.
of the room.
The woman who shared our papers to us initially
was currently asking for our attention. In a weird
high-pitched voice she started speaking to us.
In due time we were summoned to a well air
conditioned room on the 4th floor of the building
and told our aptitude test will begin in earnest. A fair
skinned lady with too much make up and a blonde wig
very soon distributed our questions to us, mumbling
something about how integrity was paramount to the
job we were there for.
“Good day ladies and gentlemen” she chirped.
“Me I don’t talk too much oh! I just want to tell
you about this great opportunity you are here
for. First remember the words of Steve Jobs who
said the ones who thought…think they are… sorry,
the ones who are crazy enough to think they can
shange the world are the ones who do.”
I dived into the verbal aptitude questions heart first,
acutely aware that I did not prepare for one measly
second for this test. To my chagrin however, I couldn’t
help but notice grave grammatical errors in the
questions themselves. This did not feel right. It was
then I realized I already had a virtual score board
before my eyes. I ticked my new observation under
the column marked ‘Negative’. A shove of optimism
nudged me continually till I marked ‘Presentable and
well air conditioned room’ under the positive column.
The game was on.
“Mr. Dayo…Ahh! Mr. Dayo…such a great man. Me
I will never forget how he has changed my life.
Don’t worry; you will meet him very soon”
Negative ticks were flying left, right and centre
in my mind. I stretched my legs before me and
leaned into the chair.
“Let me tell you my story”, she continued. “As you
look at me like this, I was ordinary, ordinary sales
garl in Shoprite oh! But then I met Mr. Dayo, our
C.E.O and he changed my life for good. See this
business ehn! You will all become a millionaire.
In about 30 minutes time the test was rounded off and
a PowerPoint slide buzzed into life on the wall in front
19
the
LENS