Going
Home
By anonymous care partner
It was March 29, 2014 and Paul and I were engaged to be
married just 7 months later. Our time of engagement bliss
was fiercely interrupted with a dash of reality. We were in the
emergency room where we discovered that Paul’s Chronic
Kidney Disease (CKD) had reached its climax. We didn’t know
it at the time of entry. We just knew that Paul hadn’t been
feeling well and was experiencing what we thought were
flu-like symptoms. I was concerned given his CKD but never
thought that the reality of it all would hit him at age 42. I
mean, end stage renal failure only happens later in life doesn’t
6
it? As I walked towards the restroom, I heard what seemed
like the voice of a whisper and the voice into a loudspeaker,
at the same time. I’ll never forget those words at the nursing
station “Oh my God, room 9 has labs that show a creatinine
level of 19.0. This can’t be right.”
This can’t be right. As I hesitantly approached my fiancée’s
room, I saw it. Room 9. Paul was in Room 9. Oh my God. He
is in Room 9. I stood there staring at the number 9. I hate you
9. You are the worst number of all 9. This can’t be right. Do I
tell him what I just heard? Maybe I heard it wrong. Maybe I’ll