Data show that I’m not alone. “The average lifespan of a
kidney transplant is 12 years for a deceased donor, and 15
years if you have a living donor who is related”, according to
Jared L. Skillings, PhD, a transplant psychologist and Chief of
Psychology for the Spectrum Health System in Grand Rapids,
Michigan.
If you receive a kidney
transplant, you’ll likely
be monitored closely for
years by your nephrologists
(i.e. kidney doctors) and
transplant team, so any
news of decreasing function
shouldn’t come as a surprise.
“Patients I have talked to
who have had a transplanted
kidney for a long time, say ‘I
kind of knew it was coming’,”
says Kristin Kuntz, PhD, a
transplant psychologist at
The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.
However, some patients become acutely ill, or contract a virus
or infection that leads to kidney failure. “For these patients,
the failure of the kidney may seem out of the blue. It’s
sudden. The patient is not prepared for it. It’s a very difficult
adjustment. You had planned out your life and all of a sudden
you’re facing a return to dialysis,” Kuntz says.
No matter what camp you fall in—prepared for the worst, or
completely shocked—kidney failure is hard. Here are some
tips for adjusting to the news.
Keep doing the things you enjoy doing and taking care of
yourself.
After receiving a kidney transplant, you might go several years
without feeling sick. Many of the symptoms of kidney failure
will likely disappear and you’ll find yourself doing things you
wouldn’t have done before your transplant. But finding out
that your transplant is failing could put you in such a funk that
having fun and pursuing new interests seem like a waste of
time. Your second instinct might be to withdraw from your
friends and family.
Try to keep doing things that you enjoy and spending time
with people you care about. “Don’t let feeling discouraged
keep you from doing the things you like. You’ll end up feeling
worse, if you stop doing those things,” Skillings says.
Also, don’t slack off on good health behaviors, Kuntz advises.
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Do what you can to stay healthy—eating right, exercising and
taking your medications.
Take a step back and reflect on how you’re feeling.
You might start worrying about the future or stressing about
the next steps after hearing that you’ll have kidney failure again.
You may even start thinking ahead to your next transplant.
While it might seem like a
good idea to start preparing
immediately for dialysis or
another transplant, Kuntz
advises patients to hold off
on creating an action plan.
Take some time to think
about how you’re feeling.
You’ll probably experience a
range of emotions, according
to Skillings. “Feeling afraid is
really normal. Knowing that
your transplanted kidney is
failing makes you nervous.
You might go through a period of grief where you’re mourning
the loss of your kidney function. There is a grief process of
realizing that you are not well,” Skillings say. Some patients
also respond to the news with anger or avoidance, or they
feel guilty thinking about all the things they could have done
wrong.
Some transplant centers require patients to have a period of
reflection before starting another transplant process. “The
transplant team will probably ask about what you did well with
your last transplant, what are some areas for improvement,
what worked for you and what didn’t work,” Kuntz says.
Whether taking time for reflection is a requirement or not,
understand that it’s OK if you need some time to process
everything that’s happened. Let your transplant team know
if you’re taking a breather to prepare for what comes next,
whether that’s returning to dialysis or pursuing another
transplant.
“If you decide to go on dialysis, there is always a chance to go
back and do a transplant later, even if you’re not ready right
now,” Skillings says.
Consider who you might tell and when.
It’s not always easy to talk to friends, family members and
other people you know about your health status. They
might not understand why your transplant is failing, which
can lead to lots of invasive questions. It’s best to share this