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By J
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DPC E
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Having 35 years of experience living with kidney disease, I
have learned a few lessons. I like to think I was given this life
to pass on the things I have learned along the way.
The biggest lesson is that attitude is everything. If you have
a positive attitude, it makes living with kidney disease so
much better and easier. I started this craziness over 35 years
ago, at the age of seven. It was hard to take on so much
responsibility; diet restrictions, physical limits, sterility issues,
etc. My mom taught me an important lesson I have never
forgot. In the beginning, when I would get news of another
surgery or another test that had to be done, I would get upset
and cry. Keep in mind, I was a kid. My mom would let me cry
and have my “pity party”, as we called it, for a few minutes.
Then, she would tell me, “OK, now that the pity party is over;
now we handle it.” After a while, I would skip the ‘pity party’
part and get right to handling it. What a difference it made.
No matter what comes up, I can deal with it without tears or
worry.
Another example of having a good attitude in a not-so-good
situation is: We have all had the experience of the dialysis
nurse or tech having a hard time sticking our access. The
difference is HOW you handle the situation. I learned, it is not
worth getting upset over. We can not change the situation.
What is the use of getting angry or upset? It makes everybody
feel bad, and that takes a lot of energy. The dialysis nurse or
tech already feels bad enough. Let us not make them feel
worse. Let us say, it is ok, these things happen, relax and take
a couple of deep breaths. You can stand up for yourself. You
can ask for another staff member to try; or, if you know of a
staff member that you trust, ask for that person. Ask calmly
and respectfully; people are more likely to listen to you, and
work with you.
It is the same with a test or procedure or doctor’s appointment
we may have. It is something we need to do, getting upset or
angry at the world will just make you miserable. It affects no
one else. Then, we will need to go through it anyway. Why make
ourselves miserable, when we will need to go through it anyway.
I know this is easier said than done. It took me years to come
to this realization. All I can do is pass on what I have learned
and what works for me. I can tell you that attitude really does
make a difference. It makes you feel better overall, and it
makes life way more enjoyable... for everyone.
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