Letter From the Editor
Dear Reader:
“After Sober Dating: Not Losing Yourself In The Relationship,” is the theme of this issue. Before I entered the program, I always thought, “Sober Dating? Boring. Doesn’t fit in with my rebel image.” And I thought if I was willing to abandon myself in favor of the relationship that meant it was a match made in heaven. Boy, was I wrong!
In the “Building Partnerships” chapter of the S.L.A.A. Basic Text it says that in sobriety “relationships have taken a more realistic place in the vast arena of self-expression which is called life.” It says, “We were right that a meaningful life is one filled with love, but we had distorted that meaning with selfishness, seeking only to ‘get’ rather than to ‘give,’ to ‘rip off’ rather than to contribute.”
It speaks of closed systems (“one in which there is no energy exchanged with the environment outside the system ... Two individuals rely completely on their relationship to be the source for all personal identity, life-purpose and meaning”) and open systems (“Energy is exchanged ...Two individuals could be nourished by each other and also exchange energy through experiences outside the relationship...Their ability to function would be only partially dependent on the other, and so they could adapt more easily to changes of all kinds... The loss of the individual’s own autonomy, and the forfeiture of personal dignity and wholeness would be seen as being far worse than the loss of the relationship.”)
With the help of S.L.A.A., each individual, if they choose to be in a relationship, can find the support to build an “open system” relationship full of intimacy, enrichment and potential. If someone like me can find it (thanks to God and S.L.A.A.), anyone can!
Lisa C., Managing Editor, the Journal
the Journal, Issue #146
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