The INSPIRER The-INSPIRER-02 | Page 3

By: Consolata Akinyi IS IT  LOVE OR LUST? All young people will at a point ponder on this question. Having one crush after another comes with confusing feelings. Research has shown that most people get confused between love and lust. Majority don’t know the difference. This is why you find a lot of people engaging in unhealthy relationships thinking SIGNS OF LUST… they are in love yet they are in 1. You’re totally focused on a person’s looks and lust. bodies. The truth is there is a big difference between the two. One 2. You’re interested in having sex, but not good survives long term and the other, conversations. short term.In defining the two, we 3. You want to leave soon after sex. 4. You are lovers, but not friends. would be able to establish the real difference.Love is an intense 5. You’d rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings. feeling of affection toward 6. You’re often in love with a guy/lady, then with another. It’s a profound and another, and then with another and you get enticed caring attraction that forms emotional attachment. On the flip by each of them. side, Lust is a strong desire of a SIGNS OF LOVE…. sexual nature that is based on a 1. You want to spend quality time together other than having sex. sexual nature and is based on 2. He or She motivates you to be a better person. physical attraction. 3. You get lost in conversations and forget about We can also say that Lust is solely the hours passing. based on physical attraction and 4. You want to get to meet his or her family and fantasy—it often dissipates when friends. the  “real person” surfaces. Lust is We can’t say you really love someone until you have actually met the whole person “real person”.   fueled by idealization and projection. You see what you hope someone will be or need to be rather than seeing the real person, flaws and all—which is love.Here are some signs to watch for to differentiate    As we grow, we begin to have different perceptions regarding what we need and want. This also influences our decision when it comes to being in a relationship. Between the age of 15-19yrs we are normally attracted by the physical, thus you will want to be in a relationship based on looks and that can be categorized as lust . From the ages of 20-30yrs it’s a battle between the two—lust and love. You desire someone with good character but at the same time you want someone who looks attractive and irresistible. And its very rare you find both is one person. Most of the times you settle for what suits you best. From the age of 32 and above, reality sets in and you are keener on character, attitudes as compared to looks. This is the period where you choose to love the real person and not just lust after them.   That being said we can never avoid lustful feelings because it’s a desire created in us but we can avoid acting towards them. These are the ways we can work through this stage in our lives. 1. Allow the presence of the Holy Spirit to help you through. Read Romans 8:1-5 2. Avoid people who exert bad influence on your living with God. Read 2 Timothy 3:1-5 3. Flee from things that stimulate youthful lust. Read 2 Timothy 2:22 Please note that nobody is perfect. We all have things we are dealing with but we have to accept that we have the problem and seek God for help b ecause by strength shall no man prevail.