By: Consolata Akinyi
IS IT
LOVE
OR LUST?
All young people will at a point
ponder on this question. Having
one crush after another comes
with confusing feelings. Research
has shown that most people get
confused between love and lust.
Majority don’t know the
difference. This is why you find a
lot of people engaging in
unhealthy relationships thinking
SIGNS OF LUST…
they are in love yet they are in
1. You’re totally focused on a person’s looks and
lust.
bodies.
The truth is there is a big
difference between the two. One 2. You’re interested in having sex, but not good
survives long term and the other, conversations.
short term.In defining the two, we 3. You want to leave soon after sex.
4. You are lovers, but not friends.
would be able to establish the
real difference.Love is an intense 5. You’d rather keep the relationship on a fantasy
level, not discuss real feelings.
feeling of affection toward
6. You’re often in love with a guy/lady, then with
another. It’s a profound and
another, and then with another and you get enticed
caring attraction that forms
emotional attachment. On the flip by each of them.
side, Lust is a strong desire of a SIGNS OF LOVE….
sexual nature that is based on a 1. You want to spend quality time together other
than having sex.
sexual nature and is based on
2. He or She motivates you to be a better person.
physical attraction.
3. You get lost in conversations and forget about
We can also say that Lust is solely the hours passing.
based on physical attraction and 4. You want to get to meet his or her family and
fantasy—it often dissipates when friends.
the “real person” surfaces. Lust is We can’t say you really love someone until you
have actually met the whole person “real person”.
fueled by idealization and
projection. You see what you
hope someone will be or need to
be rather than seeing the real
person, flaws and all—which is
love.Here are some signs to
watch for to differentiate
As we grow, we begin to have different perceptions
regarding what we need and want. This also
influences our decision when it comes to being in a
relationship. Between the age of 15-19yrs we are
normally attracted by the physical, thus you will
want to be in a relationship based on looks and
that can be categorized as lust
. From the ages of 20-30yrs it’s a
battle between the two—lust
and love. You desire someone
with good character but at the
same time you want someone
who looks attractive and
irresistible. And its very rare you
find both is one person. Most of
the times you settle for what
suits you best. From the age of
32 and above, reality sets in and
you are keener on character,
attitudes as compared to looks.
This is the period where you
choose to love the real person
and not just lust after them.
That being said we can never
avoid lustful feelings because it’s
a desire created in us but we
can avoid acting towards them.
These are the ways we can work
through this stage in our lives.
1. Allow the presence of the
Holy Spirit to help you through.
Read Romans 8:1-5
2. Avoid people who exert bad
influence on your living with
God. Read 2 Timothy 3:1-5
3. Flee from things that
stimulate youthful lust. Read 2
Timothy 2:22
Please note that nobody is
perfect. We all have things we
are dealing with but we have to
accept that we have the
problem and seek God for help
b ecause by strength shall no
man prevail.