Bottom Line, Inc.
Individual Contributor - Participant’s Workbook
RECEIVING CRITICISM
Everyone will face criticism in his/her life. It is important to respond assertively to that criticism, whether it is
justified, unjustified or a definite “put-down,” by not getting defensive, not counter attacking and not over
apologizing. Consider your response carefully, react appropriately so that arguments are avoided and above
all, retain your self-esteem.
Ask yourself; is this constructive criticism, negative criticism or a destructive snide criticism of me as a person?
Is the criticism valid and justified or invalid and unjustified? How do I want to respond? It is important to
recognize your own breaking point that causes you to overreact. You must also realize that there are no hard
and fast rules. How you choose to react today may be different from how you would have reacted yesterday,
or with a different person or in dissimilar circumstances.
The Options
If the criticism is valid and justified, it is probably best to accept it, apologize once and sincerely if appropriate
and you are at fault; then correct the situation. With practice you will become less defensive and more
accepting of yourself—faults and all! These three steps are usually required:
1. Accept / acknowledge the criticism – “Yes, I did forget to contact Mr. Smith…”
2. Apologize if necessary – “I’m sorry…”
3. Take steps to correct matters or improve performance / behavior – “I’ll contact him right away.”
If the criticism is unjustified or invalid, you can still adopt the above technique in some circumstances and if by
doing so you do not lose self-respect, e.g. if you are being criticized for someone else’s mistake, you could
respond:
“I’m sorry, that should not have happened. I’ll make sure the mistake is corrected.”
This is difficult to do, but sometimes preferable to saying:
“It’s not my fault, John should have done that”…especially if John is your responsibility.
A compromise is to acknowledge that there might be some truth to the criticism as the critic sees it. It does
not imply your agree with the criticism, but it avoids an argument. This technique is perhaps best used to end
a discussion which is going nowhere:
“You may have a point.”
“I can see why it may appear that way to you.”
However, if your self-respect will not allow you this alternative, disagree with the unjustified criticism, if
possible following up with a statement of self-assertion:
“You spend too much time on your work.”
“I disagree. I’m doing something that’s important to me.”
If the criticism is a put-down or accusation, a simple denial of the statement may be sufficient. For example:
“You have no commitment to your work.”
“That’s not true…”
However it