listen to your clergy interpret it) it sounds like a
miraculous feat, but when you think about it you
realize it was an army of runts. So of course he did.
Who couldn’t crush a bunch of regiments of Tattoos
(de plane, de plane) short-stepping at you? He
probably could’ve done it with the jawbone of a
prairie dog.
Moses wandered around for 40 years. Being an itty
bitty twerp had a lot to do with it. Maybe if he had
ditched that heavy ass staff he wouldn’t have
gotten so tired and had to make so many stops to
rest.
Perhaps if he had had a step ladder he
could’ve seen over those little dirt mounds and
known he was almost at the promised land over 12
times, but got discouraged and changed
directions. Hell if he wasn’t so vertically challenged
hit wouldn’t have taken him so long to lug two
regular sized stone tablets down a mountain.
have lasted long. No rooms?! You better kick
somebody o ut. I saw Clint Eastwood do it in a
spaghetti western so I know I could’ve done it in
Nazareth.
So sure I’d have been better off had I been born at
another time, but then again most of us would’ve.
I’m referring to a time predating the era Leslie
Jones parodied. A time when women like her and
others actually knew their real last names and
where they came from. Or maybe in the future
when all racism will be a thing of the past because
all racists will be long gone and buried. When will
that be? Probably when somebody invents a time
machine to take us back to when black people
knew their real names and where they came from
At 5’ 6” I’d have been towering over all of them.
I’d have been considered a freak of nature, a
mutant: able to reign over the scared and gullible
village folks. I wouldn’t have had to perform any
miracles to get respect. I’d have simply had to
show up. And when I showed up folks would’ve
had to beware.
Things would’ve been a lot different had I been
back in the days chronicled by old King James. For
instance, Instead of feeding the belly aching
multitudes with bread and fish I’d have told them to
shut the hell up before I got angry and being
hungry would be the least of their worries.
I’d have had any woman I wanted and the one I
chose would’ve never had the nerve to come to
me with that old drag about how she got pregnant
by a spirit. She’d have known my tall ass wasn’t
going to go for it and she’d get thumped on the
top of her cranium.
And when we did go
searching for a place to stay the search wouldn’t
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