Healthy
Hearts
?Healthy
Homes
by Brenda Yoder, MA,
Counselor and Education & Prevention Advocate for Elijah Haven Crisis Intervention Center
I
n this season of campaigns,
it’s easy to tire of opinions. It’s
amazing how elections bring out
strong beliefs everywhere you go.
Boisterous opinions about candidates
or issues can be intimidating and divisive among friends, family, coworkers
or church members.
Non-political opinions are equally
tiresome, intimidating, and divisive.
Discerning between fact and opinion
is a timeless challenge. Wherever there
are people, there will be differing opinions. It’s a challenge to communicate
truth that impacts people to listen.
Using neutral, factual words versus
opinion words can make the difference
in someone truly hearing us. Stating a
situation for what it is without using
argumentative words is beneficial for
relationships and communication.
“Calling a spade a spade” is a common
phrase for sharing undisputable truth
versus opinion.
Three non-opinion words that are
powerful in communicating are appropriate, healthy, and acceptable. Their
negative counterparts– inappropriate,
unhealthy, and not-acceptable - are
equally as powerful. These words are
effective in relationships, communication, and addressing behavior because
they convey truth without judgment.
A parent calmly, but firmly saying, “That behavior is not acceptable”
will be heard differently by a child
than a parent yelling or shouting
their feelings. Declaring something is
“not acceptable” sets the standard for
behavior rather than leaving behavior
open to opinion.
This principle can be applied to
any communication that needs to take
place. For people who have been abused
or victimized, it’s easy for them to
minimize the abusive behavior. Abusers can also minimize their actions.
This is where words of truth are essential to combat faulty thinking.
“It is not healthy (unacceptable or appropriate) when
__________________ does
_______________.”
An extensive list of examples could
be formulated. Instead of listing them,
each of us should simply use these
words when communicating truth
to one another. If a friend of ours is
hurting themselves and their children
because of an addiction, it’s appropriate to say, “What you are doing is not
healthy.” If someone we love is hurting another person or is being hurt, a
powerful statement can be “It’s not acceptable to treat ________ that way.”
Statements with these words aren’t
personal, but powerful.
Acceptable, healthy, and appropriate. Three powerful words, void of
opinion, calling behavior what it is.
If everyone were to use these words,
change would happen and no one
would even need to run for office.
Our challenge is impacting our
world today with words of power
and truth.
Indian Artifact
Show
Saturday, October 6, 2012
8:00 am - 3:00 pm
Open to Public
Held at Shipshewana Town Center
760 S Van Buren St. • Shipshewana, IN
Next to Splash Universe
Lima United
Methodist Church
would like to welcome our new
Pastor, Denise Heller. We are proud
to welcome Denise and her husband
Garry to our church family.
Lima U.M.C. is located on the corner of
450 W and 700 N, Shipshewana. Sunday
School is at 9am with Denise teaching the
adult class and Worship Service at 10 am.
Lehman, Hershberger & Co., P.C.
Certified Public Accountants & Consultants
• Tax Consulting & Preparation
• QuickBooks Support Services
• Financial Statement Preparation
• Complete Payroll Services
• Accounting & Bookkeeping Services
Brian Hershberger, CPA [email protected]
Call Any of Our Convenient Locations
574-533-8857 • Goshen, IN
768-4552 · 446 N.