The Hometown Treasure November 2013 | Page 23

Healthy O ctober was Domestic Violence Awareness month. But intimate partner violence doesn’t begin when a ring is on a finger or when the guy moves in. It happens in teen dating relationships, too. Consider these facts: In 2001, 1 out of 5 female high school students reported being physically and/or sexually abused by a partner (“Dating Violence Against….,”Journal of American Medical Association); Among female victims of partner violence, a current or former boyfriend or girlfriend victimized 94% of those between ages of 16-19 (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 7, 2001); and Females ages 16-24 are more vulnerable to intimate partner violence than any other age group (U.S. Department of Justice, “Special Report, Intimate Partner Violence...” Oct, 2001). Elijah Haven Crisis Intervention Center’s education program has been in local schools. Area teens admit it happens. Most of them are afraid to talk about it or don’t know where to begin to get help. There are red flags to be aware of if you see behavior in your teen’s dating relationships. Your teen may be a victim of teen dating violence if they: • Sneak around and lie about behavior with their dating partner. • Are isolated from friends and family when being with their dating partner. • Frequently have to “check in” with their dating partner. ?Healthy Homes by Brenda Yoder, MA, Writer, Speaker, Educator Have a change in mood or character when around them. phones, tablet and network history. Disable GPS tracking on their smartphone. • Experience extreme jealousy or 4. If something doesn’t “feel” right to possessiveness from them. you, it probably isn’t. • Are afraid to make them angry. 5. Listen to your teen. Don’t judge • Get overly upset after a phone call, them if this behavior is happening, text message, or personal contact but support them. with them. If your teen is in an abusive • Unexplained marks on their body. relationship: • Often request to be exclusively 1. Contact your local domestic alone with them versus both of violence agency for assistance them hanging out with family with restraining orders or other members. information. • Have a decline in school perfor2. Empower your teen to break up. mance or lack of interest in social Set boundaries for them, model activities. words to say, and give them re• Are afraid to make them upset. sources they can use for ending the • Are quick to do anything their relationship. partner asks of them. 3. Establish a safety plan. If your teen has signs of an un4. Keep record of harassing messages, healthy relationship: online communication and contact 1. Don’t minimize the unhealthy local authorities. behavior. 5. Talk to school officials about keep2. Listen to things your teen may not ing your child safe at school. be saying. They often don’t come 6. Seek professional help. out and ask for help. 7. Gain more information. National 3. Monitor your child’s online and Dating Hotline: 1-866-331-9474; digital behavior. Require knowlwww.loveisrespect.org; and www. edge of passwords, check cell loveisnotabuse.org Often apologize for their partner’s behavior. • • Hearts we can travel Lori Hochstetler November ‘13 · The Hometown Treasure 23