Healthy
Hearts
?Healthy
by Brenda Yoder, MA,
Education & Prevention Advocate for Elijah Haven Crisis Intervention Center
Redefine
T
his word entered my
vocabulary recently when
a friend and I discussed
the transition of parenting
adult children. We desire
to mentor, be available and nurture
while fostering independence and
releasing our children. We identified
the need to redefine the mother/child
relationship as our children grow older.
Redefining happens in all areas
of life, not just parenthood. When
you change professions, you need to
redefine your roles and responsibilities. When a relationship ends, you
have to redefine that person’s presence
in your life. Students graduating from
high school or college have to redefine
their place in the world. It’s a process
to redefine yourself when roles in your
life change.
When we don’t redefine as our
roles change, it’s easy to feel stuck in
places, feeling like you can’t move forward from mistakes, grief or change.
When you have an abusive past,
redefining boundaries and thought
processes becomes significantly impor-
Homes
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