The Hometown Treasure March 2013 | Page 11

Healthy Hearts ?Healthy by Brenda Yoder, MA, Education & Prevention Advocate for Elijah Haven Crisis Intervention Center Redefine T his word entered my vocabulary recently when a friend and I discussed the transition of parenting adult children. We desire to mentor, be available and nurture while fostering independence and releasing our children. We identified the need to redefine the mother/child relationship as our children grow older. Redefining happens in all areas of life, not just parenthood. When you change professions, you need to redefine your roles and responsibilities. When a relationship ends, you have to redefine that person’s presence in your life. Students graduating from high school or college have to redefine their place in the world. It’s a process to redefine yourself when roles in your life change. When we don’t redefine as our roles change, it’s easy to feel stuck in places, feeling like you can’t move forward from mistakes, grief or change. When you have an abusive past, redefining boundaries and thought processes becomes significantly impor- Homes tant. You need to redefine the internal dialog that plays inside your head, ??][????]]?H[???X??][?\??[???]\?[??Y?]]?K??[?[?H?Y]?B????\??]\?]8?&\?H\???H??B??^H?Y?H??[][??\ ?YY?[?[?¸?'??X[8?'H?X??Y\?H?]??^H?Y?K???[??\???Z[??[??X?\?]Y\?X??\[???\?H[?H\?HYX[???YY?[?[??^X?][??[??Y[[????Y??X?B?[?[?\?????[???H[?H?\?\?[???\???X?\?\??[?\?XZ?[???H?\??Y]?[??H?Z?X?[???[Y\??H\?Y[??[ ??H?YYY??YY?[?H\?[?[??\???X?[]K?Z[ [?[?\?????[?HY?[?][??8?'???[?x?'H?\??]\?Y?H??X?\??HY??&]]?B??????\???\??&]]?]???\??]\???H?YY?[?[??\?[?\?[XY?O?HZ?\\????H[????]?X?H????]?[????B?[???H?]?[???X]?? ???B???[[?Y??YY[YY ???HZ\?[?\??????Z[??????[?\?????[?X[H?YY?[?\?\??H?YY???YY?[?H?\??[?\?\??H??\??^B???Y?Y?K???[?H\?H???\?Y??\?B?? L????\?????]??Y[???\?]\?]??Y\[??X??\???YHT????X?X??????[??H??YH][?H?^HH ?? ?? ? ???[????HH\???[?H?\?H?[?B?YX\??Y??\?^\?Y[??\?[??Y[??H\??]8?&\?X[H?Y?\?[??[??H?[??H??\??H?[??&]X]?H?X\????H\?H[???[?X??\?X\?\? ?]?^\?\?H\?H[YH??]?\?][??[?H?X\?????]?\?HX?]?]H[?\?H?[????B??X\??[?H\?H[?????\?H?[?B??YY??H?YY?[?Y????[?H?YY???[??H[?\??[??^X?][????]H\?[??Y?H?H??H[?H\?B?[???YY?[?[??[????\?]?[??[?B??\?[? ?[X\?[??H\? [????[??H?]\?H?]?H[?^X?][??\?H[?H?[[????YY?[?H[??[X??X?H?^O???\?]??? ??Z?X????????\?]??????Y\?B???\?]?[?H\??????? M? M ?H ??B?L? H? ? ????\?]?[?KS? ?M?B???\??[?? H??K? ?[H H B??[?]?YX[ ???\?[?\??^??\\?][???\?\?[?[??]][????YH?YH\?]?\???X?\?[?H??Y\???Y\?H?Z[[???H\?H??]YX????H[???H??[??B????[?\?]\?[? ?]\?] MHYX\???X???[?[?? ? LYX\???^?\^\?Y[??H??????[?K??H??\?^?\???[?]?YX[ ??\?[?\?? [??Y[???P??? ???K\??[\??[??\??X?HX???[?[?? ?^\???\??X?\????????[Y?H??8?(??\?]?[?KS? ?M?H8?(?????Y\[??X??\???X?N? ?? ?? ? ?? ?? ?? ??NN8?(??^? ?? ?? ? ??H?Y]???X\?\?H0??X\??8?& L?0???B??