Healthy
Hearts
?Healthy
by Brenda Yoder, MA,
Education & Prevention Advocate for Elijah Haven Crisis Intervention Center
As a counseling professional, I see
of their body get tense first when
many kids who don’t know what to do
they get angry. Is it their hands?
with their anger.
Their jaw? Their shoulders? Help
“It just builds up, and builds up,
them develop relaxation techand sometime it might just come out,”
niques while deep breathing,
a ten year-old told me. She was asking
targeting the parts of their bodies
for help even though she has a toughthat feel the anger first. Help them
girl image. She doesn’t like how she
be aware of their body and how it
feels.
responds to anger, so that they can
It doesn’t matter if they’re male or
move to self-regulation.
female, kids with anger are hurting in- 3. Give them sensory items to engage
side. Their bodies experience a range of
with. One idea is a plastic box
emotions – frustration, hurt, jealousy,
filled with different kinds of dry
envy, insecurity, fear – but it comes out
beans and marbles or pennies. As
as anger. As this child explained, it’s
kids fidget their hands in the box,
like their body is a volcano just ready
the cool-touch of the beans and
to spill over.
the feel of it on their hands has a
So how can you help a child who
soothing, calming effect, allowing
experiences anger as their primary
a child to refocus and calm down.
emotion? Here are some things to try:
Stress balls and other items also
1. Have the child practice deep
help.
breathing, teaching them to pay
4. Give them an outlet to express
attention to their own body, their
what they are feeling - like talkbreathing patterns, and how
ing, writing, drawing, coloring, or
their body calms down when they
shooting baskets. Kids often won’t
practice it. Help them self-regulate
just sit and talk when they are antheir emotions by teaching techgry. By giving them something to
niques they can do on their own.
do while you talk with them, they
2. Help the child notice what parts
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are feeling inside. It gives them a
non-threatening way to express
themselves.
5. Help them identify other feelings
that may be masked by anger.
Helping them understand the difference between frustration and
anger, sadness and anger, hurt
and anger, etc., allows them to be
self-aware about their emotions
and recognize their root feelings.
It gives them the ability to voice
their feelings appropriately (“I’m
sad”) rather than having anger as
their primary emotion. This, too,
can help them self-regulate their
feelings.
In a culture where kids see more
anger around them, have more opportunities to express anger through
social media and texting, or to bully
others, it’s important to help them
develop appropriate ways to handle an
emotion that can be harmful to them
and others. More than one child has
told me, “I don’t want to feel this way.”
How can you help children in your
world to deal with their anger?
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The Hometown Treasure · June ‘13 · pg 43