BACK PAGE | THE (MODERATELY) HOLISTIC MOM
THE PLIGHT OF THE
FEMINIST HOMEMAKER
Story by ELAINE KAPOGINES
V
ery recently, my husband and I were filling out some joint paperwork for a new
insurance policy. We were answering the
standard questions: name, age, date of birth. We then
came to the occupation category. Applicant #1. Full time
employment — check. Applicant #2. Homemaker — check.
I was a little taken aback. Was I really a “homemaker”? I looked
down at my nursing toddler, realizing I hadn’t showered in at least two
days. I glanced over at the sink full of unwashed dishes and the dirty
pots I’d left to soak probably around the same time as my last shower.
I’m making a mess, that’s for sure — making a home, I’m not so sure.
Stay-at-home-mom, housewife, homemaker, domestic goddess,
whatever label you’d like to apply, it all boils down to the fact that I
do not have a job. I used to be gainfully employed. I used to make a
financial contribution to our little family. In fact, for a while, I was the
sole financial provider. I spent six years in post-secondary educational
institutes. And the word “honours” appears on both my university
degree and my post-grad college diploma.
Now I stay at home — mostly in my pyjamas. Maybe I should have
focused more on Home Ec and less on existential philosophy?
Some part of me definitely feels like I’m letting down the sisterhood.
Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, Hilary Clinton, Rosie the Riveter, I’m
sorry. Countless women have fought, and are still fighting, for the
right for women to have it all — family, career, equality, a voice. I don’t
have it all. In fact, sometimes I feel like I don’t have anything. I actually
asked my husband recently for permission to buy myself a new book
(admittedly, we’re still working out the kinks of a joint bank account —
repeat: our money, our money).
I