The Holistic Parent | Page 12

MIND | MINDFUL MAMA THE PEACE OF QUIET Finding silence to calm worry and anxiety Story by NICOLE SCHIENER A ll parents know there is nothing quiet about children. From the moment our little ones enter our world, they not only fill our hearts with love but our homes with lots and lots of noise. I remember knowing I was ready to have children when I started noticing how quiet our house was. Now with two very passionate little people and Lego pieces everywhere I can sometimes feel overwhelmed by all the noise and stuff. But it is not just the external sounds of our children’s demands and conflicts but often with parenthood comes the chatter inside ourselves. Sadly for many, this can be words of self-criticism, self-doubt and self-comparisons. With so many “experts” and bloggers weighing in on the “do’s and don’ts” of childrearing, we parents can feel lost and exhausted. Thankfully there is growing research that shows us a light out of this tunnel — ways to achieve peace in the midst of chaos. Simple mindful practices can make a world of difference in the lives of parents and children. While I’ve always been a strong believer in the mind-body connection in my work with clients, I realized, like so many other parents, I was getting caught up in the fast pace and high demands of balancing work and family life. Beginning to dread getting up in the morning and pressing the snooze button one too many times became the norm. But all that has changed over this past year as I’ve been dedicated to a daily practice of starting my day in quiet. Setting my phone timer for 10 minutes, I either assume the traditional meditation posture 12 THE HOLISTIC PARENT Winter 2015 take away ... This longextended simmer helps to remove as many minerals and nutrients as possible from the bones. or get comfy on the couch or under the covers. Sometimes I’ll do yoga poses. In order for our practice to work, I think it is important to be flexible. Then all you have to do is simply breathe and attend to the present moment. Often my mind will wander, but I am grateful for a wise teacher’s description of simply noticing and then gently guiding my attention back to my breath as one would gently and lovingly bring back a child or pup who had wondered off. Holding a stone or focusing on the ticking of the clock can also be helpful. In addition, the Loving Kindness or Meta meditation is another wonderful way to feel a sense of peace. While we don’t know what the day will bring and we might make some mistakes along the way, taking time for ourselves and leading with love can help us look for the good in others and deal with conflict with ease. Now I often wake up before the alarm goes off and find it easier to observe situations and my reactions and repair things more quickly. In these quiet moments when we are not worrying about other people, our creativity can soar, and we can gain clarity about our needs and wants. Throughout the day, learning to recognize common thinking traps and become curious rather than judgmental about challenges or struggles are other ways to achieve a sense of peace. Often it is at night time when our critical voices can scream at us, keeping us awake and anxious. But we can insulate ourselves from this unwelcome noise by once again engaging in a few moments of silence after everyone has gone to bed and before we climb under the sheets. Returning to your calm centre with an attitude of love and forgiveness is just what all mommies and daddies need and deserve after a long day in the trenches. Sleep can then become easier and restful. NICOLE SCHIENER M.Ed, CCC, CGE, blends over 10 years of professional experience as an individual, couples and group therapist and public speaker with personal insights as the mother of two passionate little people. theholisticparent.ca