MIND | MINDFUL MAMA
THE PEACE
OF QUIET
Finding silence to calm
worry and anxiety
Story by NICOLE SCHIENER
A
ll parents know there is nothing
quiet about children. From the
moment our little ones enter our
world, they not only fill our hearts with
love but our homes with lots and lots of
noise. I remember knowing I was ready
to have children when I started noticing
how quiet our house was. Now with two
very passionate little people and Lego
pieces everywhere I can sometimes feel
overwhelmed by all the noise and stuff.
But it is not just the external sounds of
our children’s demands and conflicts but
often with parenthood comes the chatter
inside ourselves. Sadly for many, this can
be words of self-criticism, self-doubt and
self-comparisons. With so many “experts”
and bloggers weighing in on the “do’s and
don’ts” of childrearing, we parents can feel
lost and exhausted.
Thankfully there is growing research
that shows us a light out of this tunnel — ways to achieve peace in the midst
of chaos. Simple mindful practices can
make a world of difference in the lives of
parents and children. While I’ve always
been a strong believer in the mind-body
connection in my work with clients, I
realized, like so many other parents, I was
getting caught up in the fast pace and high
demands of balancing work and family
life. Beginning to dread getting up in the
morning and pressing the snooze button
one too many times became the norm.
But all that has changed over this past
year as I’ve been dedicated to a daily practice of starting my day in quiet. Setting
my phone timer for 10 minutes, I either
assume the traditional meditation posture
12
THE HOLISTIC PARENT
Winter 2015
take
away
...
This longextended simmer
helps to
remove as many
minerals and
nutrients as
possible from
the bones.
or get comfy on the couch or under the covers. Sometimes I’ll do
yoga poses. In order for our practice to work, I think it is important to be flexible.
Then all you have to do is simply breathe and attend to the
present moment. Often my mind will wander, but I am grateful
for a wise teacher’s description of simply noticing and then gently
guiding my attention back to my breath as one would gently and
lovingly bring back a child or pup who had wondered off. Holding
a stone or focusing on the ticking of the clock can also be helpful.
In addition, the Loving Kindness or Meta meditation is another
wonderful way to feel a sense of peace. While we don’t know what
the day will bring and we might make some mistakes along the
way, taking time for ourselves and leading with love can help us
look for the good in others and deal with conflict with ease.
Now I often wake up before the alarm goes off and find it easier
to observe situations and my reactions and repair things more
quickly. In these quiet moments when we are not worrying about
other people, our creativity can soar, and we can gain clarity
about our needs and wants.
Throughout the day, learning to recognize common thinking
traps and become curious rather than judgmental about challenges
or struggles are other ways to achieve a sense of peace. Often it is
at night time when our critical voices can scream at us, keeping us
awake and anxious. But we can insulate ourselves from this unwelcome noise by once again engaging in a few moments of silence after
everyone has gone to bed and before we climb under the sheets. Returning to your calm centre with an attitude of love and forgiveness
is just what all mommies and daddies need and deserve after a long
day in the trenches. Sleep can then become easier and restful.
NICOLE SCHIENER M.Ed, CCC, CGE, blends over 10 years
of professional experience as an individual, couples and
group therapist and public speaker with personal insights
as the mother of two passionate little people.
theholisticparent.ca