Penny's story
03
Not taking baggage with you
S
ome time ago, a close family member did
something that hurt me and the rest of my
family. It can be diffi cult to forgive someone
when they have just hurt you, but when what they
have done impacts on other people that you love,
then the pain you feel seems to be far more intense.
Th eir actions so upset me that I didn’t seem to be
able to let it go. I found myself going over it again
and again. Not only did it tie me up in a knot, but
even being in the same room as them was painful
for me. As we all know, to forgive someone means
diff erent things to diff erent people. For some
people it is about being able to be in the same room
with the perpetrator again; for others it is about
moving on as if nothing has happened; and for
others still it is about the impact of the wrongdoing
on themselves. Th ere is no doubt that forgiving
someone can be diffi cult, but what I learnt was that
holding on to all that bad feeling was doing me
more harm than good, so I suddenly decided to let
it go. It was like a great weight had been lifted: I
stopped being consumed by it and was able to get
on with life. Nothing had changed, other than my
mental attitude to what had happened. I realised
31
that forgiveness in whatever form it means to you
is defi nitely good for you. I expressed this once in a
drawing; moving to a place of forgiveness is like no
longer carrying the baggage of anger, rage, feeling
a victim, bitterness, or feeling haunted to a place
where you feel that you can let all that baggage
go. It is about feeling free, light, or being released.
Considering what I now know about forgiveness,
and thinking back over this time in my life, I wish
I had come to the decision to forgive sooner – I
could have saved myself so much heartache.