The Great Controversy The Great Controversy | Page 319

competence, though his habits of study were still maintained. He filled
various civil and military offices with credit, and the avenues to wealth
and honor seemed wide open to him.
His mother was a woman of sterling piety, and in childhood, he
had been subject to religious impressions. In early manhood, however,
he was thrown into the society of deists, whose influence was the
stronger from the fact that they were mostly good citizens and men of
humane and benevolent disposition. Living, as they did, in the midst of
Christian institutions, their characters had been to some extent molded
by their surroundings. For the excellencies which won them respect
and confidence they were indebted to the Bible; and yet these good
gifts were so perverted as to exert an influence against the word of
God. By association with these men, Miller was led to adopt their
sentiments. The current interpretations of Scripture presented difficulties
which seemed to him insurmountable; yet his new belief, while setting
aside the Bible, offered nothing better to take its place, and he remained
far from satisfied. He continued to hold these views, however, for about
twelve years. But at the age of thirty-four the Holy Spirit impressed his
heart with a sense of his condition as a sinner. He found in his former
belief no assurance of happiness beyond the grave. The future was dark
and gloomy. Referring afterward to his feelings at this time, he said:
“Annihilation was a cold and chilling thought, and accountability
was sure destruction to all. The heavens were as brass over my head, and
the earth as iron under my feet. Eternity—what was it? And death—why
was it? The more I reasoned, the further I was from demonstration. The
more I thought, the more scattered were my conclusions. I tried to stop
thinking, but my thoughts would not be controlled. I was truly wretched,
but did not understand the cause. I murmured and complained, but knew
not of whom. I knew that there was a wrong, but knew not how or where
to find the right. I mourned, but without hope.”

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