Underneath It All
By Fredricka Fonta
The average woman spends 2 years standing in front
of her closet looking for something to wear…
When I first saw this fact I couldn’t believe it, two years of
time on choosing what to wear? Oh well I said, ‘you gotta
pay the cost, to be the beauty boss’. I thought to myself
“that’s not really a negative thing; it takes time to look
good”. As I came down off of my diva moment, I realized
that maybe there is more to it than we may think.
As long as I can remember the covers of magazines have
had stories about how to look your best, what make-up
colors are in for the season, how to spice up your love
life with a new hair style, and so on and so forth. All the
magazines and advertisements have always focused on
telling us that looking good equates to feeling good and
having a better life. Part of that is most definitely true.
Studies show that we as humans are visually stimulated
and that when our environment is nice we feel better, and
when we look good we feel good.
I don’t know about you, but when I’m having a good hair
day, I feel I can face the world with more confidence, but
what does that say about us as women? We are in an age
of technology and social media reign; and seeing that
what color Beyoncé dyed her hair this week goes viral,
only confirms the value we have placed on outer beauty.
We have made beauty the most sought after super power.
Have you ever stopped and thought about the power that
you possess as a woman?
Just knowing that the earth is populated because of you
is amazing in itself. What about the fact that if you have
children, your child can ask you where his /her green
crayon is and you know that it’s on the bottom shelf to
the left. You are a real life super hero. You can cook a
meal, talk on the phone, and check email at the same
time. There should be monuments made after you. The
problem is that there are, just the wrong monuments.
Have we allowed society and the media to shape our
image of ourselves? Why? When we allow someone to
define us, and our value, it’s usually because we don’t
know our value.
I remember in high school there was this one guy that
every girl wanted, including me (LOL). He was gorgeous,
and the girls all but did his homework in order for him
to “like them”. I remember one day he told me I had
nice legs, and I said “my brain looks better.” After that,
I couldn’t get rid of him. The moral of that story is I
demanded he show me respect and I didn’t cater to him
as if he was the prize. I told him what about me I thought
was special, and it was my brain. I knew my own worth.
I made sure he knew that to talk to me, you couldn’t
objectify me. For centuries women have fought for equal
rights and respect, but the minute some man tells us were
pretty we feel validated. We have to pick a side and stand
on it. Do we want to be sex objects, or sex objects who are
finding the cure for cancer?
There is nothing wrong with making sure you look great.
Being able to render a man senseless because of how
we walk is also one of our super powers and we need