Then came real humiliation. When you are overtaken by a Yoda in a pram, you know your athletics career is over. Or never really started. It was a pity. My training had gone well. The roadwork had been put in. For three months, I had gone to as many cheese and wine parties as I could. I had miles of cheese strips under my belt.
After a short nap among the vines, I followed the smell of gastronomy back into Pauillac to see the victor cross the line and win himself roughly 80 bottles of wine - his body weight in wine.
Every competitor gets a T-shirt, a knapsack and, at my race, an optional handshake from and photo opportunity with King Kong. A Klingon appeared beside me and blurted out, "Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!"
He bore his teeth, crinkled the frown lines on his cheese-grater forehead and handed me a post-race digestif.
"Today is a nice day to die!" Obi-Wan Kenobi collapsed nearby. "Un vignoble effort, mon ami," a voice said.
It came from the direction of Aslan. Although it may have been Conan the Barbarian.
Or Gollum.
Only in France…
For further information:
Medoc Marathon takes place each September, you can run or join a walking route: www.marathondumedoc.com
If you want to register for next year's race:
http://www.marathondumedoc.com/reglement/
Photos © Yves Mainguy/AMCM