of Sganarelle , thus bringing me a festive fund of devilry , a cache to make me young again , while making jeopardies for that vile fiend who would wrong me .
MASCARILLE : But , sir : the pedicure , the hangnails trimmed , the fingers lopped , the hand chopped off , the neck in noose ! I must insist , my salary , unless improved , does not sway me to deign such risks .
CLUTTERBUCK : Ah , honor in these lapsèd times ! It ’ s all so mercenary now ! The jousts of rakes , the feats of crooks , the exploits of the infamous have since devolved to bargaining , investment and self-interest . Where has the hero scoundrel gone who , for his glory , and that alone , made villainies such an art form ?
MASCARILLE : Perhaps pedicures made them effete .
CLUTTERBUCK : What of the sport , renown and pride that made deceit a masterpiece ? The curs , the cads , the mountebanks of yonder years would be ashamed to see , today , no one will make enormity for common weal and public muse . It ’ s all so base that criminals in these dour times will only ply their knaveries for salaries of recompense . Shall ignominy be oppressed ? Shall scandal be commodified ?
MASCARILLE : On second thought , you pricked my pride .