THEGAYUK FEB/MARCH
2014
PROBLEM PAGE
MY BOYFRIEND’S EMOTIONAL AFFAIR
DILEMMAS
By Barry Heap
Dear Dilemmas
I’m really annoyed. I recently found out that my boyfriend had met somebody
else. He says that nothing has happened but I don’t know what to believe
anymore.
We’ve been together about 12 years, and everything has been brilliant. We
work very different hours but we’ve always found a way to make it work. My
phone was broken recently and he wouldn’t let me use his phone to text his
sister and insisted on sending it himself. I thought this was odd so I looked
through his phone and found a dating app hidden on his phone and could see
him talking to the same guy. I was furious with him and he was annoyed at me
for using his phone and refused to talk to me.
When we were finally able to discuss it, he says that nothing had happened
with the guy and it was just an online thing over the past few months. He
doesn’t think that he’s cheated as he hasn’t met the guy but from reading the
messages they seemed flirtatious and sexually charged but there was no
discussion of meeting up.
Since then he has refused to talk about it and accuses me of nagging him when
it gets brought up. He’s put a passcode onto his phone so I don’t know if it is
still going on.
I’m so confused - Scott
Dear Scott.
Thanks for your letter,
It seems like there is a lot to discuss from your letter,
first of all is the breakdown in trust on both parties.
From his end it may feel that you over stepped the mark
by reading his phone and has taken the steps to protect
himself. But here’s the thing;
It sounds like you had no idea he was on this site and
talking to other guys and this is where the breakdown in
communication started.
Now nobody is saying that he’s lying, you’ve se