The Gay UK Issue 1

THEGAYUK WINTER 13 /14 Issue 1 ‘The main goal is to open people’s hearts and minds, and I believe film has the power to do that, more than a lot of other things. ! ‘I felt a lot of pressure of having to be an expert, that I had to have knowledge of the history of the equal rights movement, now I realise that we are all kind of activists in our way. By just sharing our stories that’s a form of activism. I’ve embraced that and I’m proud of it. I hope that it shows it doesn’t matter who you are, as long as you have a voice you can help people.’ ! ever being with him. They’re on each side of him. There’s no way I can ever be buried next to him, but I realised that’s not where Tom is. It’s just his body. ! With the premiere of the film and worldwide release, I ask whether Shane finds it hard to talk about Tom all the time. ! ‘A lot of people think it might be hard to continuously talk about him, but I’d much rather talk about him and share him with people than not talk about him. I love the idea that people get to see such an amazing human being who inspired me and is now inspiring a lot of other people. It feels good to talk about him.’ One of the burning questions that people I’ve spoken to about Shane’s story ask the same thing, have Tom’s parents been in touch since the ‘It Could Happen To You’ video or the filming of Bridegroom; with a I’m nervous to ask the next sigh of sadness Shane says,  question, but I feel that throughout the film there’s a theme, a sort of ‘No I haven’t heard from them, and rebirth for Shane, a new beginning we reached out to them quite a few in many ways, I ask, if he had his times in the making of the time again with Tom, would he do documentary and unfortunately anything different. Shane is almost they didn’t respond. There are delighted for the question, members of his family that do support me and Tom and this film, ‘Yes! I have to say, that for most of it’s just unfortunate that no one my life I was ashamed of being gay. from his family was able to A lot of times it prevented me from participate.’ loving Tom as much as I should have or wanted to. I wondered what Shane thinks Tom’s reaction would be about the ‘So looking back I wish I wouldn’t way in which Shane’s been treated have cared so much about what by his family? people thought of us. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ‘Overall with everything that has happened I think Tom would be disappointed in them. I don’t think he’d want people to be attacking them or harassing them. ‘I wanted to try and make it clear that it’s about the bigger picture and not just about his parents. I want people to walk away feeling inspired and wanting to live their life more honestly and not just focus on Tom’s parents.’ ! Towards the end of the documentary a film crew travels with Shane to Tom’s grave, where Shane discovers that Tom’s parents have made every attempt to cut Shane out of the picture altogether. They’ve bought a family plot, with space for his mother on one side and his father on the other. ! ‘It was very upsetting to get to the gravesite to see that even in death his parents have prevented me from ‘I would have been able to love him without being ashamed and to show that we are in love and we are a couple, who want to spend the rest of our lives together. ∎ ! ! ! ! ! ! INTERVIEW ‘I was in complete shock and it was hard to really process what was happening, when they told me I couldn’t see him. It was just devastating and I was just so confused.’ © IMAGES Supplied by Netflix You can watch Bridegroom on Netflix. 76

The Gay UK Issue 1 | Page 76