The Florida Villager - September 2013 September 2013 | Page 22

LIFE LESSONS
Becoming a Better Listener

I

BY KIMBERLY HALE

t’s fair to say that we engage in countless conversations on a daily basis with our boss, clients, co-workers, relatives, and friends. But how frequently are we really listening as much as we could or should? Living in today’s world of digital distractions and content overload, it should come as no surprise that we’re probably not listening much at all. Hearing is not the issue. Simply put, hearing is the ear perceiving sound. It’s easy, fast and requires no effort on our part. Much like a vehicle operating on cruise control, it just happens. We do it without thinking and science indicates that we even do it in our sleep. But listening is another story. It’s an important life skill Old habits may be hard-to-break but with conscious that requires conscious participation. The real difference desire and practice of the following skills, we can become between hearing and listening is the act of concentrating better listeners. or paying attention on the part of the listener. 1. Resist distractions - These days, we multi-task at Good listening skills can yield a multitude of personal a frenetic pace. If someone comes to talk to you, and professional payoffs. When we actively listen, we simply stop what you are doing and give the person increase our capacity to learn as well as to build rapport, your full attention. understanding and trust - in relationships, in the workplace, 2. Don’t interrupt - Often, we anticipate what the in social settings and with our families. other party is going to say so we interrupt or interject

in an effort to “help” move the conversation along. Refrain from butting in or answering before the other person has finished speaking. 3. Focus on the conversation and the speaker - Look directly at the speaker and use body language and gestures like smiling, nodding and facial expressions to convey that you are focused and attentive. 4. Open your mind - Our ability to listen can be distorted by our own assumptions. Avoid judging a speaker on how they talk, look, or if you do not share their ideas or beliefs. 5. Provide feedback - If you’re unclear on what the other person is saying, ask questions when they’re done speaking. Otherwise, clarify to ensure that you got the message right by paraphrasing what was said in your own words. Providing feedback shows that you’ve been listening to (and care about) what’s been said. Kimberly Hale is a marketing communications consultant, community relations expert and freelance writer based in South Florida. She is also the found W"?B7&VF?fRf?&6R&V???BW?G&?&F??'?7vVWG2???6?RWfV?BFW6?v?f?&?7V6?????r??F?R7G???VB6?G??BFW76W'BF&?RG&V?B?v??V??b??vR6?6??R?BV????&?fFRFV'G?B?fR?6??VBF????W6R????GFW"v?B7V6??WfV?B??R&R6V?V'"F??r?F?RF????W6R?2F?R?FV?v???6?6?fV?VRF???R??W"'G?6??RF??fR??s#"&VB&?B?6?WF????d?33C2(
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