Reader Reflections ►
Sweet Dolores
Sometimes , it ’ s with a quiet sadness that we find our tribe .
by Jennifer Jensen , avid reader
Jennifer Jensen
Editor Note : After reading writer Dolores Halbin ’ s February 2025 article , a love letter to her husband , Gene , avid reader Jennifer Jensen , felt compelled to share her story about her lost Valentine in a lovely letter to Dolores . It ’ s a powerful story ! We ’ re continually amazed by the camaraderie of our cannabis community and the stories of how we uplift each other and care for each other . We are happy to be part of this community . Please continue to share your stories and experiences with us . Our writers and staff love hearing from you .
There ’ s something about the clutter in your basement that made my soul weep . Your love for Gene grabbed my attention , reminding me of the kind of empathy only those who ’ ve experienced significant loss can understand . Though we didn ’ t have 40 years together , we did have eight . My first love . The kind of love that truly hurt because when it was good , it was so , so good .
But what was left for me ? I wasn ’ t left with a basement full of memories to revisit . Instead , I was left with a two-year-old and a box of shirts . Shirts he once wore . My Valentine ’ s Day box . A box that , to this day , has never been opened .
You see , I ’ m afraid of what will happen if I open it . I ’ m afraid the scent will fade . That exposure to the world outside might unravel the interwoven threads of what once was , the threads we shared . Shirts he wore out and shirts I wore to sleep in . I ’ m afraid to lose that box — just 12 shirts — of a lifetime ago .
Michael and I met when he was 15 . From day one , we were inseparable . He was one of the funniest , most brilliant people I ’ ve ever known . Michael ’ s wit , his insight into the world around him , kept me in awe . He was incredibly smart and humble , and he effortlessly drew people to him . He had that magic — that light that couldn ’ t be dimmed , even on his worst days .
It all started with a speeding ticket . A smell of marijuana led to a search of his vehicle , and that search led to probation . And
Jennifer and Michael Jensen the real tragedy was the way our medical and legal system enabled his addiction . With his probation officer ’ s tacit approval , Michael could visit doctors , filling prescriptions for everything — uppers , downers , stabilizers — and simply toss what didn ’ t get him high . He could check in with his probation officer while opioids still coursed through his system , if he had a prescription bottle to prove it .
His probation officer came to his funeral , tears in her eyes . I couldn ’ t help but feel the nerve in that moment .
The first year was the hardest .
I sat alone in silence , the days stretching longer than I could bear . It felt as if my toddler would tug at my ear , asking for her daddy , wondering if I had heard her . Her small voice seemed to echo in my mind , louder with each passing day .
This addiction lasted six long years — six years I ’ ll never get back . Michael was my forever Valentine . People judged , but they weren ’ t in our home when the doors closed , when it was just me , him , and our reality .
I would ’ ve followed him to the grave . But everything changed when I learned I was pregnant . Someone had to show this child that there was another way . So , one day , without warning , I opened the curtains and saw how tall the grass had grown .
By 2019 , I had become the first in my family to graduate from college .
Today , I ’ m working as Grön ’ s Junior Marketing Manager for the state of Missouri . I ’ ve found a company that prioritizes mental well-being and encourages therapy .
I ’ ve come to realize that , in the end , love never ends . Though we might not always be able to see it , we can certainly feel it . And as I watch our daughter grow , I see so much of Michael in her and so much of me . She ’ s becoming the spitting image of me — with his whole personality wrapped in one little chest .
So now , I put down my heavy , stone-filled backpack , and I leave a love letter to the one I love most — our daughter .
Dear Emery , I hope you find the sun on every cloudy day . You are the most beautiful flower in a field of flowers beyond imagination . I hope you always seek the truth , no matter how far it seems to go . Never stop , not even when it feels like it ’ s all for nothing . Some days may seem worth nothing , but they ’ re the ones that teach us to appreciate the sun , even if it ’ s hidden behind the clouds . I hope you fall in love so fiercely that it sets your heart on fire . Stay true to yourself , even when people change around you , because authenticity can never be
Jennifer and daughter , Emery replicated . As your mom , I would give you the world if I could . But for now ,
I give you this — my heart .
With all my love , Mom [ Jennifer Jensen ], XOXO
40 March 2025