In my distress , I gave my old address to Christina as she filled out the paperwork for me . When three weeks had passed and I hadn ’ t heard anything , I pulled out my copy and realized what I had done . I called the clerk , who was there during our prosecution .
“ I was hoping you would call back Dolores ,” she said . “ It ’ s done , and we mailed you a letter , but it came back ‘ no forwarding address .’ We also sent the letter to the Missouri State Board of Nursing . It is as though ...”
“ I know ,” I interrupted , “ as though it never happened .”
Today , my overwhelming emotion is not joy or even gratitude . I feel the same as I did the day I found out the State Board of Nursing found me “ not guilty ” of Moral Turpitude for occupying the space above my husband ’ s basement corner , well-hidden cannabis garden for his glaucoma . I feel the same as I felt the night Amendment 2 passed . All around me were celebrating ; I was seething — anger . That ’ s how I feel now — overwhelming , no outlet , anger .
It is as though it never happened ...
When you say it out loud , “ It is as though it never happened ,” one wonders if they hear it . Perhaps “ this should not of #$% ^ &* happened in the first place ” would be more appropriate . Words matter . Verbs matter .
As though nine police cars led by the big black SUV of our Missouri Drug Task Force and the equally large and imposing undercover thugs , Tally and Perrymen , never came to our house , never held my husband at gunpoint for six hours , never denied him a Coke for low blood sugar , never had him sign a false confession because he was legally blind and had no idea what he was signing , having been told it was a list of his property . As though arresting us on a $ 25,000 bond each never happened .
I ’ m 67 . I was 58 when we were raided and had just finished all my certifications to get back in the ICU at Bates County Memorial Hospital , where I worked as a floor nurse in a job I loved . I went from 25 years of ICU experience to not practicing for nine years . Now , 2.5 years shy of 70 , I get to return to work as a nurse . Gee , thanks , fellas ! Not to mention , if it never happened , there ’ s a pretty good likelihood I would still have my man .
Eeyore VS Bugs
Gene and Dolores
I know I am acting like Eeyore . I need to embrace my inner Bugs Bunny again , pick myself up , dust myself off , get out my orange shirt , make a sign and get ready to March Forth on March 4 with the Kansas Cannabis Coalition , KSNORML , and so many friends in Missouri as we gather at 39th and State Line Road in KC to speak truth to power .
I listened to the Kansas Senate hearings this past week on the Medical Marijuana Bill . My first thought — this should be a parody , like the movie , Don ’ t Look Up . The testimonies were somewhere between the Scopes Monkey Trials and Refer Madness . My second thought — we
need a bigger army . I hope the army reminded the Kansas legislatures that they are elected officials and can certainly be replaced if they continue to ignore the overwhelming will of the people .
Friendships Forged in Battle
I have forged many friendships along the battlefields against prohibition since we were drafted in March 2014 , and on March 4 , 2023 , I saw many of you again . I am enormously grateful to everyone who came out to march . But folks , we got to stop meeting like this .
The bottom line — I ’ m simply tired as hell of the battlefield , year after year after year . We need a concise and total victory in this war against the people and the plant we love . When that happens , when cannabis is off the Federal Schedule , I promise I will celebrate Scottish style . You bring the cannabis ; I ’ ll bring the agave .
Dolores Montgomery Halbin , RN , BSN , and Ordained Nurse Minister , resides in SW Missouri . After her husband passed in 2015 , she retired from nursing . She worked with the 2014-2018 Missouri campaigns for legalized medical marijuana . She continues as a cannabis reform activist volunteering with Canna Convict Project and working toward Federal decriminalization through educational speaking and freelance journalism . Dolores Halbin , doloreshalbin @ gmail . com .
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